I’m sure not many of my followers at this point would even notice I’m not keeping to my regular posting schedule. I still wanted to apologize none the less!
Most of my state has been without power for the past few days after a huge storm the other day. I would say at least half, if not more, of the area has been without power. Some have been lucky to have it fixed at this point but many are still expected to have to wait a number of days.
Depending on how things go I may still post a topic or two later in the week but for now we will have to see.
Rest assured, I have not gone anywhere and don’t plan to anytime soon!
Thank you all!
Look forward to regular posts again in the near future!
One of the primary reasons I only choose to write about trans-related topics once a week typically is to attempt to portray this concept as best I can. I really only post transgender topics in the first place to help and/or educate others finally being at a place in my life where I feel am able to give back to the community. I never do it with any intention of boasting or to convey that it is miraculous to be trans or anything along these lines.
I try to write about all different kinds of topics and interests of mine to further enforce this point, also while hoping to potentially attract new readers without being “judged” first by any means for being transgendered. I feel that I have plenty to share with others that has absolutely nothing to do with being trans.
This is why in my personal life I rarely choose to disclose my “transgender status” with others before I feel they learn to know me simply as a person beforehand. I seldom approach it any other way nowadays with some exceptions.
At my core I am exactly the same person I have always been my entire life!
Just a much happier person who is more willing to express and share certain aspects of myself that I wasn’t able to do beforehand for a number of reasons.
I have primarily the same interests I’ve always had, the same views and philosophies on life with just simply, if anything, gaining more new hobbies and interests than ever before!
Don’t get me wrong, it may still on occasion upset or bother me on a personal level in some aspects but who doesn’t experience feelings like this about themselves every once in a while regardless of who or what you may be.
I feel some who may not be all that familiar with transgendered individuals can sometimes have this view that we are trying to “shove it down your throat” on occasion. As if we somehow feel we instantly deserve your respect or acceptance. I would never expect this from anyone else no matter what and never would expect the same in return. (I plan to write a topic based solely on my views pertaining to respect in general for those who may be interested in the future.)
I’ve stated previously in my topic about how, “being trans is in no way a choice” that we are simply just normal average people just trying to live our lives like anyone else. We have hopes, dreams, things we need and want. We are just like anyone else who just wants to be happy so they can be their best self.
Some trans people who choose to transition in the beginning might not initially or ever be up to the standards of what some may deem “worthy of being female” but this does not change the fact that they always have been and always will!
A good majority, if not all, are not seeking the “extra attention” they may often receive or trying to harm/offend anyone, I assure you!
Each and everyone of us, trans or not, is just trying to do whatever they can to be comfortable with themselves and be happy!
We all deserve this no matter who you are and/or your background!
Lily Allen is by no means completely under the radar! The song I chose for this post was once number one in the charts in the UK and in the top ten in the US when it was initially released a little over ten years ago.
However, I feel she will always stand alone in many ways for me as a female performer! She has her own style both in life and expressed within her music. I will always have extreme respect for her in more ways than one!
Not only did she become successful by releasing her music herself on YouTube to be “discovered” but also because every single one of her songs are so unique in presentation with what they lyrically consist of and convey, all while always being brutally real and honest!
One of my favorite songs by her will always be one entitled “Knock ‘Em Out” which I totally recommend for any females viewing this post! I don’t think any song both accurately and hilariously portrays the interactions with some men that women can experience.
The song I picked for this post was the first I ever heard from her. “The Fear” is a satirical creation both with the song itself and the video as well. It mainly pertains to how most modern female artists, really people in general for that matter, are often concerned with all the wrong things and very materialistically driven?
Really just the overall experience of consumerism and values that most of “western society” have come to accept as the norm. Which in many ways is extremely impressive and almost a premonition of sorts considering this song was released over ten years ago as stated above. With these ideals and views only becoming more and more commonplace and acceptable as time goes on.
I highly recommend you check out her other work if you enjoy this song because this alone doesn’t nearly begin to show her full range musically and personally!
Lily Allen: The Fear
I want to be rich and I want lots of money I don’t care about clever, I don’t care about funny I want loads of clothes and “truckloads” of diamonds I heard people die while they are trying to find them
And I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless ‘Cause everyone knows that’s how you get famous I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror I’m on the right track, yeah, I’m on to a winner
I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore When do you think it will all become clear ‘Cause I’m being taken over by the fear
Life’s about film stars and less about mothers It’s all about fast cars and cussing each other But it doesn’t matter ’cause I’m packing plastic And that’s what makes my life so “freaking” fantastic
And I am a weapon of massive consumption And it’s not my fault, it’s how I’m programmed to function I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror I’m on the right track, yeah, I’m on to a winner
I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore When do you think it will all become clear ‘Cause I’m being taken over by the fear
Forget about guns and forget ammunition ‘Cause I’m killing them all on my own little mission Now I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner Now everything is cool as long as I’m getting thinner
I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore When do you think it will all become clear ‘Cause I’m being taken over by the fear
(Some minor alterations to keep the lyrics “PG” in text form, ha ha!)
I hope you enjoyed it!
Don’t forget to look forward to more random songs from my very eclectic musical tastes, ha ha!
The image above is from none of the games for the record! Just trying to avoid copyright issues, ha ha!
The Breath of Fire series is hands down one of my favorite videogame series of all time. It honestly could even be my number one favorite RPG series ever created! It brings almost everything to the table I could ever hope to find in a videogame experience.
The original Breath of Fire was released for the Super Nintendo back in 1993 during the peak growing popularity of traditional turn-based RPGs after the success of Final Fantasy. This game was far ahead of it’s time in many aspects which have remained fairly consistent through most of the titles that followed.
The games two main characters, Ryu and Nina, are the only two whose names and likenesses remained constant throughout the series. They are in no way supposed to always be the same person as the games progress but rather “incarnations” if you will. Ryu always being a male character with blue hair having the ability to transform into various dragon forms. While, Nina is always portrayed as a blonde female having wings for different reasons. Many of the other characters often share resemblances to other characters but with none of them having this same exact relevance.
A rendition of Nina from BoF3.
Most of the games involve what you would expect from traditional style RPGs being story driven, consisting of fairly linear game-play leading you to explore various towns/dungeons and having a turn based combat system. Many aspects of the games entail elements that have always set this series apart from others in a number of ways! One of the most notable being that every character is completely unique not only in style but also their skill sets both in and outside of combat.
I’ve always enjoyed games that give characters various abilities/items that they use to complete puzzles and interact with the environment outside of battle. I think this is one of the coolest things a typical game in this genre can implement to add to the game’s experience. This was something even the original Breath of Fire achieved, which in many ways was “ground-breaking” in it’s own way for what games like this had achieved and experimented with up to this point.
The abilities that each character has in battle throughout the series is a whole other aspect in and of itself. As I previously mentioned, the main character, Ryu, is able to transform into different dragon forms which is achieved in a completely different manner in almost every single game. He alone is not the only character with the ability to transform without spoiling anything for anyone who has yet to try or experience all the games in the series. I can’t think of many other games that have such a wide range of different styles and abilities in the way this series accomplishes. This has always been something that can make or break a game for me honestly!
(One of the main reasons I’m not all that big a fan of Final Fantasy 7 for example…simply because you can essentially make every character exactly the same minus their “limit breaks” but this is a topic left for another day, ha ha!)
The story and themes of all the games are inherently linked in a number of ways while also not explicitly stating so. A number of stories and histories are shared throughout the series that reveal information about the varying races and the progression of the world over time. These can range from the history of the dragon clan or the winged race that Nina descends from slowly losing their ability to both fly and shape-shift into birds. Also, in the last “true game” of the series, society has shifted to living underground which is only mildly elaborated upon as the story progresses.
My favorite game in the series will always be the third for me personally. Breath of Fire 3 was my first introduction to the series which probably leaves me slightly bias. Overall, I just can’t think of one aspect about it I didn’t simply fall completely in love with! The story-line, the graphics, the characters, and above all the particular way the dragon transformations are implemented will always leave it having a special place in my heart! Potentially, my favorite game of all time if I had to solely pick one.
Most seem to prefer the fourth from what I have read which is honestly probably my least favorite even though I enjoy many things about it that set it apart like all of the games in the series. I even enjoyed the fifth game which receives more mixed reviews than any other completely changing up almost every aspect of the original four.
A sixth was technically created as a mobile game never becoming successful enough to even be deemed worthy of a release in English. I would still love to try it someday being such a fan but to most it marked the “final nail in the coffin” for the series…
Capcom, the creators of the games, have been quoted as saying they wouldn’t completely rule out potentially making another game in the future but most have come to accept the series will never rise again.
I highly recommend trying any of the existing games if you enjoy turn-based RPGs!
Who knows what the future may hold for one of my favorite videogame series of all time?
I know I will never stop looking it up on occasion in hopes of seeing it’s revival one day in the future.
I feel like most of the random topics I have written down and plan to discuss in the future for the most part are mildly serious.
A good majority of my random posts recently seem to have been this way so I thought I’d mix it up first with one just a touch more playful and lighthearted?
As I’m sure many of you would assume, as one would most likely not write on such a topic if they did not do this themselves…
I have always been beyonda person who talks to myself whether I am alone or with others!
I feel this has only become more commonplace as I grow older!
(Also, possibly from hormones as well…but I swear I did this already!)
I can honestly probably say in any given day I almost constantly talk to myself, even more so than I do with others sometimes…
You would think I would primarily just do this while at home or by myself like many people do on occasion but…
NO!
I practically do it 24/7 and it doesn’t matter where I am!
In a store, walking down the street, at work, everywhere!
I’ve really just learned to accept this and not care about the strange glances I often receive from others. I remember a few years back walking the streets of Philly literally telling myself I needed to stop…
This does not make you look any better I assure you! Ha ha!
So, as with most things about myself I have come to embrace it!
It helps me work out my own thoughts, focus on tasks, feel better about myself if I need to amp myself up once in awhile, plenty of things!
Apparently, more studies than you might think back up this information. I remember reading one about people having to remember certain items and being told to repeat them out loud while others did not. With those who did performing the task significantly better than those who did not! Many different kinds of these studies and information exist on this topic if you find yourself curious.
One of the most famous “geniuses” of all time, Albert Einstein, was overly infamous for noticeably talking to himself!
I’m not calling myself or anyone who talks out loud to themselves to be such a person but I do think that a basis for it assisting with many things is justified!
I remembering seeing once as well that this can be recommended to do for people who may suffer from panic attacks for another example. Simply just saying what you plan to do out loud or how your feeling at the moment is said to help greatly in such a situation.
I speak out loud when I write and review almost all of my posts, let alone other things. I tend to be able to write as fast as I would talk to someone in person which helps a great deal in such matters.
So, in conclusion it helps people to focus better, work out thoughts and feelings, feel better about themselves, and just overall appears to bring about nothing but positive things.
I think more people do this than they may be willing to show and express in front of others in some circumstances from my experience discussing this with others.
I say embrace it wherever you are as long as it helps you with whatever you might be doing at any given time!
As always…
Try your best to forget what people think about you!
You’re probably way cooler and a more well adjusted person than they could ever hope to be anyways!
What are your first thoughts when you look at this small happy smiling anime girl in the image above?
Maybe you are thinking she just looks like your standard cutesy adorable type of character you tend to see often in many series?
You would be entirely correct in this statement and should think nothing less!
Granted her character in this show is actually a zombie but we’ll get to that in a minute…
For those of you who may not be all that familiar with the anime/otaku world let me begin by explaining just exactly how the word “trap” has been used by many in the community over the years.
The word trap in this particular instance as you may have guessed after me deciding to feature it as a “Trans-Topic” as opposed to placing it under a “Media Monday” post is used in a way you can probably imagine. It is used fairly commonly to describe, in a very general sense, a character who is for one reason or another implied to be “trapping you” by presenting as a gender other than their own.
Anime, manga, and the like is more filled with this particular “trope” then one may think initially if you have not been exposed to a great deal of it. It can arise in many forms, to just random moments, an episode or two, or even be the primary premise for an entire show in some cases. This can vary greatly from characters who cross-dress, actual physical transformations caused by fantastical means, or androgynous characters who may be hard to distinguish and/or are often “confusing” to others in many incidences. (I’m looking at you, Hideyoshi!)
In some cases as you may have guessed, however, some of these characters that people refer to as traps are legitimate trans people!
The first of my examples being the character I mentioned at the beginning of this topic! Her name is Lily from a reasonably newer anime called “Zombie Land Saga.” Lily, as I’m sure you may have guessed by now is revealed to be a young trans girl only towards the end of the series. I feel this is one of the most well done scenes in anime that has been done to this day to convey that she is transgendered in a very subtle realistic manner.
In the eighth episode she has a conversation with one of the other main girls in the show simply explaining about how she used to go by another name and giving a quick brief summary of her past explaining how her new name came to be. All the lead girls in this show are an idol group who are made up of the undead, hence the name of the series. You find out slowly how all the girls met their various ends with Lily’s death occurring from the stress of growing her first chin hair! If this isn’t as equally adorable as much as it hilariously expresses how some trans-females truly feel when puberty begins than I don’t know what is!
The next character I would like to discuss comes from an older anime released in 2005 known as “Paradise Kiss.” This show revolves around a group of fashion students primarily and their various other life struggles. One of the characters named Isabella is easily one of the most respectable representations of a genuine trans-woman I have ever seen in any anime!
This is another perfect example of a character whose “reveal” does not take place until much later in the series. I honestly questioned it somewhat myself when I first began to watch the show and had all but written it off feeling that I tend to do this in many circumstances as a trans-woman myself hoping to find such an amazing strong female character to potentially be transgendered!
The scene in which this is shown involves a flashback of her and a male lead from the show as children in which it shows the male character fully accepting her to the point he begins to design dresses for her to wear. When she first puts one on in front of him she is clearly very shy and embarrassed, with this almost instantaneously being erased from the full support of her friend. Since that day she lived her life as herself and that was that. Minor incidences do take place that portray some levels of discrimination at points, some of which you may not necessarily even pick up on in earlier episodes.
These are my primary examples of strong legitimate trans-female characters to appear in anime that are both so realistically presented.
A series named “Wandering Son” is one I wanted to mention very briefly as well. This particular show’s primary theme revolves solely around both a young trans female and a trans male. It portrays both of their individual struggles of being transgendered mostly involving a school setting. I highly recommend it to anyone who may be trans themselves or interested in the topic in general! (I say brief because I almost feel this show may deserve it’s own topic one day in the future!)
I would hope that some of you at this point would be beginning to understand how these particular characters, as many others, being referred to as “traps” is just plain incorrect and upsetting in a number of ways.
This term is often viewed in a whole other way than simply being used incorrectly on occasion. It can often tend to be looked at in terms of attraction and/or imply “sexual connotations.” I’m sure some of you have seen in past posts of mine that one of the number one things I can’t stand is when someone views transgender individuals as a fetish of any kind. The use of this word to describe and discuss characters who may be actual transsexuals or not only seeks to further enforce that this notion is acceptable in a number of ways.
I’m sure many view this as nothing but simple harmless banter. However, in this day and age where transgendered people have been placed in the “spotlight” more than ever in recent years I would really love to see it slowly cease being used if possible. I know this probably isn’t realistic to expect it to happen overnight. This is simply one of the more primary reasons I’ve always wanted to discuss this topic on some form of media.
I hope that even one person who may use this term on occasion would even slightly reconsider what the term “trap” can imply and mean to some. Potentially, maybe thinking twice about continuing to do so in the future.
This week’s random song is one I can’t say I really am personally able to relate to. I just find it overall to be extremely powerful and honest!
I was only introduced to the band “Two Gallants” a few years ago and honestly don’t understand how it took me so long to discover them!
This particular piece was released in 2007 just for reference on how long they have been around. The second I began to listen to their music I completely fell in love with them both lyrically and instrumentally!
I feel like they have a very particular sound and presence that is by no means entirely original while still having something undeniably special they bring to the table at the same time.
Like I said, I can’t personally relate to this song on a number of levels myself but I have a very close friend who often refers to it as one of her “anthems” perfectly describing her in many ways.
Having explained this once again, I’m just going to let this one speak for itself!
I highly recommend you check out their other work if you find yourself even mildly enjoying this one because they have many amazing others. I feel the majority are extremely unique in the same sense that I described this one.
I present to you…
Two Gallants: Despite What You’ve Been Told
Well, I guess by the blood stain of your lips And the wander of your fingertips I should prove true to my emptiness And stay here
Well, I’m just a kid of ill repute But the skin I wear is my only suit And you, you’re just a substitute For the one that I hold dear
You know, you could be anyone God forgive my tasteless tongue I never should have been set free
I claw my eyes, I skin my face Beg somehow to be replaced That’s how we deal with boys like me
Well, I guess for this world so sick with loss And your service is so free of cost I should climb down off my rugged cross And lay with you
But you know, by now it’s half past late And I only came here for escape You you’re just my next mistake Like me to you
You know, you could be anyone God forgive your unborn sons I hope they don’t end up like me
I drag my mind through streets of shame Lay myself forgive the game That’s how we deal with boys like me
But despite what you’ve been told I once had a soul Left somewhere behind A former friend of mine
And I hate to speak so free But you mean nothing to me So if the street lights they shine bright I’ll get home tonight
I guess by the dim light in your eyes And that to you all things come as a surprise I should set the steel trap of your thighs And dive right in
But to you I’m just a confused child Insecure or in denial Go raise your robes, go have your trial I’ll let you win
You know, I could be anyone God forgive what I should’ve done A thoughts enough to guilty be
Yes, I guess I made this bed But I’ll take the sidewalk instead That’s how we deal with boys like me
But despite what you’ve been told I once had a soul Left somewhere behind A former friend of mine
And I hate to sound so true But I mean nothing to you So, if the street lights they shine bright I’ll be home tonight
Any type of career or even mild interest in making it in any forms of entertainment has to be one of the most challenging and draining under takings that one can choose to devote their time to in my opinion.
It’s been almost 10 years, give or take, at this point since I was heavily involved with being in bands and taking part in live performances.
I have watched many of my friends and acquaintances dedicate their lives primarily to music throughout the years and even some that still do so to this day!
To make it in any form of entertainment you have to fully dedicate every last bit of yourself to fully committing to making it work! The second that you or one of your “partners” in such endeavors begin to lose interest or hope in such activities then you’ve already failed!
This can sound very harsh but 100% dedication for your particular passion has to constantly drive every second of your being or you may as well quit before you even begin to try.
This becomes even more complicated with trying to make something like a band work. Not only do you have to maintain this yourself but you also have to rely on the others in your particular group to keep up this mentality as well!
The many various factors that are involved in such a project are almost literally endless with how many different issues/concerns can arise!
Not only do you all have to stay in agreement on the material that you create together. You all also have to continue to get along hopefully on a personal level! All of this and more I have dealt with myself in my own experiences and watched many others struggle with as well.
As you would imagine the level of stress with all the varying factors that come into play during the creative process, working together at all times, and having to agree on things in general can all lead to a very “taxing” experience. Not only do you have to deal with creating the content itself but also when/how you choose to distribute it, where you all agree/disagree on performing, etc.
The saddest part of all of this is that even if you yourself or your band as a whole are incredibly talented and people love your music! The chance that you will still “make it” are slim to none no matter what!
This can be very hard to maintain such a level of dedication when you begin to enter your early 30’s for example, as myself and most of the individuals I used to associate with find themselves currently getting older. I remember in my early twenties watching other bands in their 30’s, 40’s or even older still giving it their all and they always had my highest respect! If you don’t continue to give it your absolute best and dedicate such a huge part of your life towards it then once again you will never succeed!
Complications can arise on multiple levels with such a “task” as you could imagine! Whether it be worrying about your career, continuing to pay bills, or even maintaining your personal relationships, whether this be friends, spouses, or even children for some.
Let’s break up this random depressing notion for a second with some positive thoughts!
I will always love a local music scene almost more than I prefer to see bigger more well known performances!
Nothing more amazing to me exists than watching people I know, or even ones I don’t know, up on stage playing their hearts out literally giving it their all doing what they love!
I remember one of the number one things I used to enjoy in my early twenties was going to this local “run down bar” in my nearest city that did “open-mic nights” every Wednesday! I will never forget those nights for the rest of my life! People were allowed to show up with whatever they wanted and play three songs a piece until everyone who wanted to play had a chance. Sometimes people would mix and match with others they just met, all different styles of music, ages, walks of life, and it was nothing short of an incredible mix of musical passions!
I know this is no new concept to many but big or small never underestimate how amazing it can be to experience your own local live music scene!
Sometimes this can become a struggle to maintain depending on location, other varying factors but even if your own might be on the decline then make it your own personal “duty” or project to make it great again!
I feel like honestly right when I found myself unable to stay so involved in my own local scene for a number of reasons was when it began to pick up more than ever before! New festivals, activities and the like were all growing and being created by the very people I used to share these experiences with.
Venues and places to play in general will always come and go but the spirit will always be alive inside people! Whether it’s at a location where you can currently actively see it or not!
You always have to remember that the most important thing about keeping a local scene alive is supporting other performers! I feel like this aspect of things is what greatly hurts local music in more ways than one.
I remember when I used to play live in one of my bands very early years that we would often always play with another very popular local band at the time. This band would show up with a reasonable number of fans who would leave along with the band themselves once their own set was complete.
This is absolutely disgraceful in my opinion!
How can you truly claim to love and appreciate music if you can’t even have that passion for your fellow local performers?
I hope to eventually be able to get to a point in the future eventually when I can play live more often again myself. Whether this be in another band or even just another acoustic set at an open mic!
Music will always be my overall biggest passion!
If you at all feel the same then I highly recommend you get out into your own local scene!
If you don’t have one?
Create one like I said!
Music truly will always be amazing in it’s ability to bring people together who have a mutual appreciation for it!
I think this is the primary reason that I will always love it so much above anything else!
Thank you so much for Reading!
(Probably could have made this two separate posts in retrospect but whatever! As always, the writing bug took hold and it ended up way longer than intended! Perhaps I’ll edit it in the future, ha ha!)
I honestly had no intentions of making this post by any means up until a few hours ago. I currently keep a notebook where I list my various topic ideas for the future and I suppose this will somewhat include some of those concepts as well as others I’ve mentioned in the past. A great deal was honestly inspired reading posts from a fellow blogger which made me realize that I had been thinking about this more so than I had even fully acknowledged recently.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am truly so in love with the world of blogging in terms of being able to share ideas and thoughts with others. Blogging is more a personal autobiographical diary for me above all else really. If anyone appreciates or takes anything from it, that is all really just a plus to me.
Stay on topic, Cailin!
This all really goes hand in hand with what has even had all this on my mind recently though. Anyone who may have read my introductory post would have seen that I came across WordPress completely by accident while filling out a job application. I created one myself primarily at first just to get a feel for the site if I did manage to get the position I applied for. (I did not if you’re curious.)
Blogging and writing has always been appealing to me and something I was interested in trying but never pursued for whatever reason.
(I feel like I’m making this more about blogging which was not my intention…)
My overall point in all this rambling I suppose is that I’m a big believer in that everything happens for a reason for the most part. I’ve also found that this is a great outlet for me to occasionally organize the endless flow of thoughts that constantly occur within my head.
Jumping back to me pursuing other means of employment recently is what primarily put the current topic of discussion back into my mind. One I have always often come back to over the years for a number of reasons.
What I do for a job/career has honestly never been that important to me. I honestly have a ton of respect for anyone who truly knows what they want for themselves in this regard in many ways! When I was younger I always just wanted to help people until I realized that this could never be achieved for me in the way I wanted it to be. (I’ve mentioned this more in depth in previous posts so I won’t continue to ramble any further on unrelated things.)
My primary reason for bringing this up is with my current change in circumstances over the past few months I feel like once again I find myself bombarded by others who feel I don’t apply myself and/or waste my potential. I was completely content and happy with my old profession as well as past and future endeavors. As stated above this has never been important to me.
In all honestly, what anyone does for a living isn’t really of any interest to me for the most part. I care far more about who you are as a person and in life than your status or how much money you may make. You could make a million dollars a year and I could care less if you aren’t a good person. Granted some are able to combine helping others and/or including their passions within their professions but for most, sadly, this is not a realistic luxury. I feel this applies more nowadays than ever before.
I have never been a materialistic person in any sense whether it be what I wear, drive, own, or where I live. None of this has ever meant anything to me, nor does it matter to me in terms of anyone else’s life. If I ever do find myself overly wealthy for some reason I would probably still drive a “beater” vehicle and live in a smaller home with rather “bohemian” decor, ha ha!
I’ve never understood anyone who desires status and/or wealth feeling that this will somehow make them happy or have this need to prove anything to anyone else.
As long as I am surrounded by good people that I love, being a good person, helping others whenever I can expecting nothing in return, all while truly believing I am doing my best than what more could I ask for?
I really meant the entire theme of this post involving “satisfaction” in the generalist terms I possibly could!
I mean it also in the ways I just stated above including never expecting anything from anyone when I’m nice to them or help them. I feel like many do this for the sense of satisfaction or achievement which I will never understand as well.
I feel others even with some things can almost force a sense of satisfaction out of wanting to prove something and/or other exceptions of society in a completely different way. For example, the way that some may be obsessed with taking photos of themselves, others, places, or experiences just to prove they have/did them? (If that makes any sense at all…) I feel this reigns true more now than ever with “social media” being so important to many.
As also just mentioned above, I truly feel I have always lived and tried my absolute hardest in all aspects of life regardless of what anyone else may think about me. If I was to die tomorrow for whatever reason I would do so knowing that I was content and happy with myself all around until this point. I’ve had a great life so far honestly with many different types of experiences and people with hopefully much more still to come that I can’t even imagine.
I feel that many seem to limit their own personal satisfaction by things that other people or society put in place for them. They think they need an established career, to get married, purchase a house, have children, etc. and while all these things are well and good allowing many to feel a sense of satisfaction. You should by no means feel this is the only path to take or the only things that matter.
(I’d like to point out I have previously accomplished all of the aforementioned in the past for the record! None of this when all was said and done made me particularly happy for a number of reasons, with the only exception being my children.)
I guess I should wrap up this rambling once again with my initial question in the title of this post!
Where does your satisfaction come from?
What does this word even really mean?
I honestly couldn’t be more intrigued to potentially hear others thoughts on this subject!
As stated above, however, this is more just me needing to work out the thoughts in my own mind. About how others have recently made me reflect and think about my own actions and achievements. I know I can honestly say without a doubt that I am happy and down right proud of myself and how I’ve lived my life so far.
I don’t care what anyone else thinks about it and I never will!
Neither should you!
Whatever makes you happy and leaves you feeling satisfied with your life than keep doing it!
What else is life about?
Thank you so much for Reading!
(Jeez…I had a feeling that was going to be a long one no matter how hard I tried but come on girl…I really am the ramble on queen whether in real life or in writing even when I try my best, ha ha!)
One thing I can not stand almost more than anything else is fake people! Something about this type of person, at least for me personally, is always so easy to pick up on and identify right off the bat. I couldn’t pin point exactly what it is about them that makes it so obvious per se. I feel it primarily has to just be mainly you can tend to tell when a person is trying to hard I suppose? I would imagine this has to become quite exhausting on occasion.
I’ve made it a habit since I was very young to only surround myself with genuine people whenever I was able to make the choice on who I spent my time with. I can’t think of many close friends I’ve ever had in my life that didn’t fit this qualification.
I understand fully that in some circumstances in can sometimes be necessary to put up some type of front or “wear a mask” as they say. Depending on the type of work environment you may find yourself in for example. I know I have personally worked many jobs that required a healthy amount of customer service. This sure does not mean that I keep up this level of presentation with my coworkers or even all customers however. I know a good majority of us can often hold back when first meeting someone whether it be a new potential friend or family member. This is completely normal as well! I’m talking mainly in the sense of once these relationships have been established for a reasonable amount of time.
I know for myself that any ability I ever had to hide anything of myself from anyone has all but completely faded since I started hormones and began transitioning.
(See, we are getting into why this is more of a trans-topic post now!)
I’m not entirely sure if this is more based on the mental changes I have undergone, just being tired of holding back my full “true self” for so long, or the latter.
I can say from my own experience and interactions with other transgender individuals that you will rarely encounter one of us that isn’t completely a genuine person! This applies more so once you get farther into your transition I feel for the most part but this is by no means always the case!
A piece of advice I’d like to give to those who may be just beginning to transition (or really anyone for that matter) is letting yourself fully find out who you are. I mean this more in the sense as to never feel the need to limit yourself by expectations!
Never let anyone or anything make you feel that you have to be anything that you’re not!
What I mean by this mainly to give an example, I tended to feel like early on in my own transition that some expected me to like overly change somehow in the sense that I would be stereo-typically more “girly” or something along these lines.
Do not get me wrong!
I am plenty “girly” in a number of different ways, ha ha!
However, I would say I am far from being dominantly so!
I am beyond “tom-boyish” in plenty of ways as well!
Once again though, what is all this honestly based on in the first place except for certain expectations put in place by our society?
What exactly is it that make such things absolutely have to be more preferred or “normal” by one gender over the other?
Why can’t people just be people?
I suppose this can sound a bit odd from someone who felt so strongly about their gender identity that they felt the need to change certain aspects of herself to feel more comfortable but I would hope you understand my point here, ha ha!
Back to just talking more in a general sense!
I feel like a common area this can apply for anyone is often being embarrassed or ashamed of your interests.
Whether they may be considered nerdy/geeky (whatever the heck this even means once again!) or anything in general for whatever reason a friend/family member of yours doesn’t approve of.
First and foremost!
Learn to stop caring at all what people think about you in any sense of the word!
I realize that this can be much easier said than done depending on the situation but does it really need to be?
Own whatever it is that you enjoy and makes you yourself!
And love yourself for it!
We are all incredibly unique people and this is what makes us all fantastically amazing!
No one else in this world no matter what will ever be exactly who you are!
Remember this!
Not only have I personally embraced my gender identity over the past five or so years but this process has also made me learn to be myself completely and fully! (Whether I want to be or not for the most part as stated above, ha ha!) I have all but ceased trying to hide my “weird” and often “crazy” self from anyone no matter who you are! Random stranger on street, my friends, my family, anyone!
I know I already stated this above but once again learn to love yourself for what makes you special!
I can almost guarantee that if you own whatever makes you uniquely yourself that you will become a ton happier than you have ever been in your life!
(As I often like to include in various posts! Always keeping in mind as long as this never involves harming anyone or causing anyone any kind of pain! If you do feel like this then please do yourself a favor and seek some type of help, ha ha!)
If you don’t love yourself for whatever reason right now, take comfort in the fact that even though I might not know you, I love you!
I mean this sincerely!
I tend to be cursed with this ability to always see the good in people and find something I like about you even with the aforementioned “faker” types. I’m sure you have your reasons for acting the way you do!
Random Thoughts and Info brought to you by Cailin Conroy! 