Just Wanted to Let You All Know I’m Still Here… (Also, I was Fired for the First Time in my Life…)


I can’t believe it’s been an entire month since I apologized for not being able to post after losing power for those few days weeks ago…

To say the least, that was the beginning of me entering one of my lovely “bad things tend to happen in threes” scenarios.

I find this quite funny considering one of the posts I had been working on at this time was on karma and how relevant it tends to be to my life in this respect. I will most likely edit said topic shortly after this and post it soon. Even though it seems odd to work on something I wrote over a month ago so we’ll see how that goes. It may not reflect my current feelings and circumstances which just wouldn’t feel right…

I sadly currently find myself in a very low place which occurs more often than I’d like in the course of my life. I found that when I first began to blog that it was very useful in helping me in this respect. Not only in organizing my own thoughts but also to help give me a task that I enjoyed doing. It doesn’t even necessarily feel right to post in a state of mind when I am not all that positive since this is what I always hope to inspire and convey. I am all about being real as well though which I guess is bound to coincide with this at times. I’m struggling very much right now to find anything that can hold my attention or give me even a moment of relief.

Gotta love depression!

It actually feels wrong to call this depression since actual clinical depression is typically brought on by nothing at all (which I’m no stranger to as well!) and this time I certainly have circumstances that have triggered my current feelings. (Or lack there of I should say…it’s sad how I still tend to revert to my “pre-transition” defense mechanism at times.)

I’m truly trying my best to not let my anxiety consume me as it has so many times before in the past.

To make a long story short, once my power was finally restored I came back to find my internet had been shut off which left me unable to post and I was only able to afford to restore it a few days ago. I live all by myself and just basic necessities are hard for me to maintain even when I do make decent money.

I briefly mentioned once I believe in my post on “satisfaction” that my job circumstances had recently changed for various reasons leading me to make a significant amount less than I was before so.

I had become completely content with this change in career because I thoroughly enjoyed the change of work experience and was really good at it if I do say so myself! My friend was my manager, with me being one of his assistant managers. I was happy and finally starting to feel better but with most good things in life this sadly came to an end sooner rather than later…

A number of “drama packed” incidents occurred within my company as they seem to do more often than not over my past two years with them which ended with my friend/boss quitting. This left my store in quite a disarray.

Two weeks later….for the first time in my life…

I was FIRED!

I was asked to leave one night with absolutely no reasoning by the person who was chosen to replace my boss. At first, he wouldn’t even give me a reason as I stated, just abruptly told me to clock out and leave for the night. Eventually, coming outside to speak to me informing me he heard rumors me and a fellow manager were planning a “mutiny.” Yes, he literally used this word…

The other girl and I were utterly shocked by this statement to say the least and couldn’t believe we were being dismissed for nothing but “locker room rumors” considering we were practically running the day to day operations entirely by ourselves. It ended with him saying we could both return to work the following day. The next morning, however, I woke up to a voicemail saying once again that I was no longer needed and that was that.

This was only last week…

I honestly wasn’t sure if I had planned to return regardless after such events having never experienced such disrespect and lack of trust in a workplace.

I’m still taking it quite hard because not only have I been told by every manager I’ve ever previously had within this company that I’m one of the “best workers they have ever had” but also for it to all to be so personal and really still without proper reasoning for my dismissal.

Others and myself have come to realize the whole situation may have had to do with me being trans, with it all just being an excuse to get rid of me which is something I’ve yet to deal with in a work place scenario. Perhaps why I didn’t even consider it at first.

This was a situation in which this middle-aged gentlemen used to treat me entirely different before he found out about me. He had actually worked below me at the time before his advancement and was no stranger to the occasional comment or more straightforward attempt to “hit on me.” After he was told, even though my interactions with him had changed, I never thought he would let it affect our professional relationship. Especially when I did so much for him after he took over.

At this point, it’s all neither here nor there I suppose…

I really only planned to make this a very quick entry stating that I was still around and hoping to become more active again.

I think I’m going to mix it up and just start to post whenever the time strikes me and feels right. Not to say that I ever forced anything in the past. I may revert back to a more solid schedule in the future. For now, however, I think this is the best plan until my life becomes a touch more stable again.

I know I have at least four or so drafts to edit and hopefully post in the near future I had previously already written, but I may just end up scrapping them at this point…

We’ll see!

Writing anew would probably be for the best right now in my current state anyway!

I’m sure I’ll push through like I always do!

Hope you all are doing well!

(I feel like I’m already going to regret this absolute drivel…at least I posted again at all.)


“Birds…”by nightshiftboy is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

I’ve Never Felt Age was as Relevant as Some Often Make it Seem.


I’d like to first start by saying do not get me wrong at all to think I don’t feel that age can in some circumstances hold some level of relevance. I do feel, however, that more often that not it is rarely all that relative at all.

I feel shortly after most of us finish our varying levels of education/enter the workforce that people typically have a general sense of who they are and how they view the world. Not to say that some are not open and capable of changing in major ways but this in itself tends to be a bit of a rarity in my opinion.

I remember coming to this realization fairly soon in my early twenties. When you are still in school in your teens many still seem to have this view that “adults” are so much different than themselves at the time. (My sister being a very funny example of this still seeming to feel this way even now being 30.)

When I first became employed at a company full time regularly beginning to interact with others of all ages I came to the conclusion that by this point in most people lives that age really doesn’t mean anything. Everyone for the most part is primarily the same when it comes to what they may want, need, or desire. They have hopes, dreams, struggles, opinions, etc.

I remember I used to hardly be able to stand when anyone would jump to any type of conclusions about me as a person based solely on age. I have never considered myself to be typical in this sense often referring to the old expression of being an “old soul.” I have always thought and reflected on things that sometimes those much older than me at the time probably still have never gave a second thought in their lives.

I try my absolute best to remember to keep this mindset whenever I tend to interact with others who are younger than myself. I currently work with a young man who was only 19 when I initially met him. I have had more mature and thought provoking conversations with this person even more so than I have with people double or even triple his age. I often have even on some occasions forgotten how young he is sometimes because he in no way reflects any type of stereotypical “youth mentalities.”

Once again, this is all not to say that age does not in fact sometimes have relevance in some circumstances. Situations such as building a life for yourself including various achievements you hoped to obtain and being able to support yourself are primarily things that some can only learn with time. This concept itself is in no way a universal truth for all though as well by any means. You could be born into wealth or become famous at a young age for example.

This leads right into my next point being that a person’s age in no way reflects experiences they may have had that others can never relate to. This could range from simple things to ones that are very extreme. They could have lost a parent or friend at a young age, struggled with different types of abuse, come from a completely different national origin than you, the list is literally endless but I think you get my point.

You really can never know what goes on in someone’s head or what they may have dealt with simply just going by age or appearances.



This is just a simple thought I’ve always had in my life since I was very young and have often discussed with others. It is in no way intended to be taken all that seriously. I feel it is simply an interesting concept that can vary greatly in the opinions others may share.

I mean even think about in the distant past how short lifespans were and how different things could be as far as when people would achieve various “life milestones.” Age is as relevant as time itself. It honestly is all more just a matter of perception and how you choose to view things.

So, next time you may make a snap judgement about a person whether they be younger or older than you, maybe just take a second to really think about that before you do!

Thank you so much for Reading!


“DSC06567”by Poisoned_Pics_Photography is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

“Ageing”by paulbence is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0