Just Wanted to Let You All Know I’m Still Here… (Also, I was Fired for the First Time in my Life…)


I can’t believe it’s been an entire month since I apologized for not being able to post after losing power for those few days weeks ago…

To say the least, that was the beginning of me entering one of my lovely “bad things tend to happen in threes” scenarios.

I find this quite funny considering one of the posts I had been working on at this time was on karma and how relevant it tends to be to my life in this respect. I will most likely edit said topic shortly after this and post it soon. Even though it seems odd to work on something I wrote over a month ago so we’ll see how that goes. It may not reflect my current feelings and circumstances which just wouldn’t feel right…

I sadly currently find myself in a very low place which occurs more often than I’d like in the course of my life. I found that when I first began to blog that it was very useful in helping me in this respect. Not only in organizing my own thoughts but also to help give me a task that I enjoyed doing. It doesn’t even necessarily feel right to post in a state of mind when I am not all that positive since this is what I always hope to inspire and convey. I am all about being real as well though which I guess is bound to coincide with this at times. I’m struggling very much right now to find anything that can hold my attention or give me even a moment of relief.

Gotta love depression!

It actually feels wrong to call this depression since actual clinical depression is typically brought on by nothing at all (which I’m no stranger to as well!) and this time I certainly have circumstances that have triggered my current feelings. (Or lack there of I should say…it’s sad how I still tend to revert to my “pre-transition” defense mechanism at times.)

I’m truly trying my best to not let my anxiety consume me as it has so many times before in the past.

To make a long story short, once my power was finally restored I came back to find my internet had been shut off which left me unable to post and I was only able to afford to restore it a few days ago. I live all by myself and just basic necessities are hard for me to maintain even when I do make decent money.

I briefly mentioned once I believe in my post on “satisfaction” that my job circumstances had recently changed for various reasons leading me to make a significant amount less than I was before so.

I had become completely content with this change in career because I thoroughly enjoyed the change of work experience and was really good at it if I do say so myself! My friend was my manager, with me being one of his assistant managers. I was happy and finally starting to feel better but with most good things in life this sadly came to an end sooner rather than later…

A number of “drama packed” incidents occurred within my company as they seem to do more often than not over my past two years with them which ended with my friend/boss quitting. This left my store in quite a disarray.

Two weeks later….for the first time in my life…

I was FIRED!

I was asked to leave one night with absolutely no reasoning by the person who was chosen to replace my boss. At first, he wouldn’t even give me a reason as I stated, just abruptly told me to clock out and leave for the night. Eventually, coming outside to speak to me informing me he heard rumors me and a fellow manager were planning a “mutiny.” Yes, he literally used this word…

The other girl and I were utterly shocked by this statement to say the least and couldn’t believe we were being dismissed for nothing but “locker room rumors” considering we were practically running the day to day operations entirely by ourselves. It ended with him saying we could both return to work the following day. The next morning, however, I woke up to a voicemail saying once again that I was no longer needed and that was that.

This was only last week…

I honestly wasn’t sure if I had planned to return regardless after such events having never experienced such disrespect and lack of trust in a workplace.

I’m still taking it quite hard because not only have I been told by every manager I’ve ever previously had within this company that I’m one of the “best workers they have ever had” but also for it to all to be so personal and really still without proper reasoning for my dismissal.

Others and myself have come to realize the whole situation may have had to do with me being trans, with it all just being an excuse to get rid of me which is something I’ve yet to deal with in a work place scenario. Perhaps why I didn’t even consider it at first.

This was a situation in which this middle-aged gentlemen used to treat me entirely different before he found out about me. He had actually worked below me at the time before his advancement and was no stranger to the occasional comment or more straightforward attempt to “hit on me.” After he was told, even though my interactions with him had changed, I never thought he would let it affect our professional relationship. Especially when I did so much for him after he took over.

At this point, it’s all neither here nor there I suppose…

I really only planned to make this a very quick entry stating that I was still around and hoping to become more active again.

I think I’m going to mix it up and just start to post whenever the time strikes me and feels right. Not to say that I ever forced anything in the past. I may revert back to a more solid schedule in the future. For now, however, I think this is the best plan until my life becomes a touch more stable again.

I know I have at least four or so drafts to edit and hopefully post in the near future I had previously already written, but I may just end up scrapping them at this point…

We’ll see!

Writing anew would probably be for the best right now in my current state anyway!

I’m sure I’ll push through like I always do!

Hope you all are doing well!

(I feel like I’m already going to regret this absolute drivel…at least I posted again at all.)


“Birds…”by nightshiftboy is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Trans-Topic Thursdays! Being Transgendered in No Way Defines Me.


One of the primary reasons I only choose to write about trans-related topics once a week typically is to attempt to portray this concept as best I can. I really only post transgender topics in the first place to help and/or educate others finally being at a place in my life where I feel am able to give back to the community. I never do it with any intention of boasting or to convey that it is miraculous to be trans or anything along these lines.

I try to write about all different kinds of topics and interests of mine to further enforce this point, also while hoping to potentially attract new readers without being “judged” first by any means for being transgendered. I feel that I have plenty to share with others that has absolutely nothing to do with being trans.

This is why in my personal life I rarely choose to disclose my “transgender status” with others before I feel they learn to know me simply as a person beforehand. I seldom approach it any other way nowadays with some exceptions.

At my core I am exactly the same person I have always been my entire life!

Just a much happier person who is more willing to express and share certain aspects of myself that I wasn’t able to do beforehand for a number of reasons.

I have primarily the same interests I’ve always had, the same views and philosophies on life with just simply, if anything, gaining more new hobbies and interests than ever before!

Don’t get me wrong, it may still on occasion upset or bother me on a personal level in some aspects but who doesn’t experience feelings like this about themselves every once in a while regardless of who or what you may be.

I feel some who may not be all that familiar with transgendered individuals can sometimes have this view that we are trying to “shove it down your throat” on occasion. As if we somehow feel we instantly deserve your respect or acceptance. I would never expect this from anyone else no matter what and never would expect the same in return. (I plan to write a topic based solely on my views pertaining to respect in general for those who may be interested in the future.)

I’ve stated previously in my topic about how, “being trans is in no way a choice” that we are simply just normal average people just trying to live our lives like anyone else. We have hopes, dreams, things we need and want. We are just like anyone else who just wants to be happy so they can be their best self.

Some trans people who choose to transition in the beginning might not initially or ever be up to the standards of what some may deem “worthy of being female” but this does not change the fact that they always have been and always will!

A good majority, if not all, are not seeking the “extra attention” they may often receive or trying to harm/offend anyone, I assure you!

Each and everyone of us, trans or not, is just trying to do whatever they can to be comfortable with themselves and be happy!

We all deserve this no matter who you are and/or your background!

Thank you so much for Reading!

Till next time!


“alone & thinking credit to https://1dayreview.com”by 1DayReview is licensed under CC BY 2.0