Karma! Are You a Believer?

Karma is a concept you often hear many people toss around and discuss at the drop of a hat in our daily lives. I wouldn’t imagine their are many people who are not familiar with the idea.

With most things along these lines I feel it needs to be taken with a grain of salt as they say.

It’s a comforting notion to think that those who do good things will be rewarded while those who do bad things will get what’s coming to them.

For the most part I have to say that I’m a believer myself.

Sometimes you can even see examples of “instant karma” where immediately after someone does something a reaction can take place almost right away to counteract the initial action.

I feel I have also witnessed this on a much grander scale of affecting people’s lives in a much more significant way, sometimes even much further down the line.

Sadly, as much as you can often see signs of karma taking effect, you will also see just as many incidents of those who do everything they possibly can for others while most of their life still can remain quite challenging.

So, does such a thing truly exist?

I tend to ponder this often when it pertains to my own life, seeming to have almost a perfect balance between good and bad luck.

I actually have an interesting story that could maybe explain my own personal state of being in this respect.

In my mid teens, probably around the age of 14-15, I had one of the most interesting interactions of my life with a “fortune teller.” This was something I had approached quite casually at the time believing that most of these types of things tend to be “acts” and solely for entertainment purposes. (This is not to say I’m not a believer in such abilities for the record!)

The reason I feel I have always remembered this particular occasion is because this is one of the only times with such a thing that this woman seemed so genuine and real. Long story short, she proceeded to tell me that my life would always be a constant struggle from the “bad karma” I was carrying from being a terrible person in my past life. (Clearly, this brings up an entirely different concept of reincarnation being real. Another topic I plan to discuss in the future!)

Honestly, though?

How many times have you ever heard of someone trying something like this and receiving such terrible news?

Aren’t these types of people supposed to tell you great fortune is in your future or the love of your life is right around the corner?

What did she possibly have to gain from saying such a thing?

I’ve questioned all this probably more than I should have throughout my life. She could have just been a “pro” in her field and just trying to seem legitimate but even still…

Keep in mind, I have by no means let this information control my thoughts or actions. It just always stuck with me for being an interesting experience is all.

It really does make a decent amount of sense for me as I began to explain earlier. How can I truly never have ever committed what I would consider to be malicious acts and still tend to have such bad luck more often than not? I’ve stated in previous posts in a completely non-boasting sense that I consider myself to be a pretty good person. I treat everyone exactly the same and always help others without ever expecting anything in return.

Is it truly this balance between my current karma and my past karma that gives me such an equal amount of “luck?”

Whatever the case may be, it is what it is!

It’s not like I would ever allow such a thing to rule me as I said.

What is life if not constant ups and downs for most part?

Regardless, if karma is real or not it would never change how I live my life and continue to treat others.

What are your thoughts on karma?

Are you a believer?

“Serendipity”by Maggie Houtz is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Trans-Topic Thursdays! Being Transgendered in No Way Defines Me.

One of the primary reasons I only choose to write about trans-related topics once a week typically is to attempt to portray this concept as best I can. I really only post transgender topics in the first place to help and/or educate others finally being at a place in my life where I feel am able to give back to the community. I never do it with any intention of boasting or to convey that it is miraculous to be trans or anything along these lines.

I try to write about all different kinds of topics and interests of mine to further enforce this point, also while hoping to potentially attract new readers without being “judged” first by any means for being transgendered. I feel that I have plenty to share with others that has absolutely nothing to do with being trans.

This is why in my personal life I rarely choose to disclose my “transgender status” with others before I feel they learn to know me simply as a person beforehand. I seldom approach it any other way nowadays with some exceptions.

At my core I am exactly the same person I have always been my entire life!

Just a much happier person who is more willing to express and share certain aspects of myself that I wasn’t able to do beforehand for a number of reasons.

I have primarily the same interests I’ve always had, the same views and philosophies on life with just simply, if anything, gaining more new hobbies and interests than ever before!

Don’t get me wrong, it may still on occasion upset or bother me on a personal level in some aspects but who doesn’t experience feelings like this about themselves every once in a while regardless of who or what you may be.

I feel some who may not be all that familiar with transgendered individuals can sometimes have this view that we are trying to “shove it down your throat” on occasion. As if we somehow feel we instantly deserve your respect or acceptance. I would never expect this from anyone else no matter what and never would expect the same in return. (I plan to write a topic based solely on my views pertaining to respect in general for those who may be interested in the future.)

I’ve stated previously in my topic about how, “being trans is in no way a choice” that we are simply just normal average people just trying to live our lives like anyone else. We have hopes, dreams, things we need and want. We are just like anyone else who just wants to be happy so they can be their best self.

Some trans people who choose to transition in the beginning might not initially or ever be up to the standards of what some may deem “worthy of being female” but this does not change the fact that they always have been and always will!

A good majority, if not all, are not seeking the “extra attention” they may often receive or trying to harm/offend anyone, I assure you!

Each and everyone of us, trans or not, is just trying to do whatever they can to be comfortable with themselves and be happy!

We all deserve this no matter who you are and/or your background!

Thank you so much for Reading!

Till next time!

“alone & thinking credit to https://1dayreview.com”by 1DayReview is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Random Song Wednesday! Lily Allen: The Fear

Lily Allen is by no means completely under the radar! The song I chose for this post was once number one in the charts in the UK and in the top ten in the US when it was initially released a little over ten years ago.

However, I feel she will always stand alone in many ways for me as a female performer! She has her own style both in life and expressed within her music. I will always have extreme respect for her in more ways than one!

Not only did she become successful by releasing her music herself on YouTube to be “discovered” but also because every single one of her songs are so unique in presentation with what they lyrically consist of and convey, all while always being brutally real and honest!

One of my favorite songs by her will always be one entitled “Knock ‘Em Out” which I totally recommend for any females viewing this post! I don’t think any song both accurately and hilariously portrays the interactions with some men that women can experience.

The song I picked for this post was the first I ever heard from her. “The Fear” is a satirical creation both with the song itself and the video as well. It mainly pertains to how most modern female artists, really people in general for that matter, are often concerned with all the wrong things and very materialistically driven?

Really just the overall experience of consumerism and values that most of “western society” have come to accept as the norm. Which in many ways is extremely impressive and almost a premonition of sorts considering this song was released over ten years ago as stated above. With these ideals and views only becoming more and more commonplace and acceptable as time goes on.

I highly recommend you check out her other work if you enjoy this song because this alone doesn’t nearly begin to show her full range musically and personally!

Lily Allen: The Fear

I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don’t care about clever, I don’t care about funny
I want loads of clothes and “truckloads” of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them

And I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
‘Cause everyone knows that’s how you get famous
I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror
I’m on the right track, yeah, I’m on to a winner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear
‘Cause I’m being taken over by the fear

Life’s about film stars and less about mothers
It’s all about fast cars and cussing each other
But it doesn’t matter ’cause I’m packing plastic
And that’s what makes my life so “freaking” fantastic

And I am a weapon of massive consumption
And it’s not my fault, it’s how I’m programmed to function
I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror
I’m on the right track, yeah, I’m on to a winner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear
‘Cause I’m being taken over by the fear

Forget about guns and forget ammunition
‘Cause I’m killing them all on my own little mission
Now I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner
Now everything is cool as long as I’m getting thinner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear
‘Cause I’m being taken over by the fear

(Some minor alterations to keep the lyrics “PG” in text form, ha ha!)

I hope you enjoyed it!

Don’t forget to look forward to more random songs from my very eclectic musical tastes, ha ha!

“Death by consumerism”by onepointzero is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Talking to Yourself! A Fine Line Between Genius and Insanity!

I feel like most of the random topics I have written down and plan to discuss in the future for the most part are mildly serious.

A good majority of my random posts recently seem to have been this way so I thought I’d mix it up first with one just a touch more playful and lighthearted?

As I’m sure many of you would assume, as one would most likely not write on such a topic if they did not do this themselves…

I have always been beyond a person who talks to myself whether I am alone or with others!

I feel this has only become more commonplace as I grow older!

(Also, possibly from hormones as well…but I swear I did this already!)

I can honestly probably say in any given day I almost constantly talk to myself, even more so than I do with others sometimes…

You would think I would primarily just do this while at home or by myself like many people do on occasion but…

NO!

I practically do it 24/7 and it doesn’t matter where I am!

In a store, walking down the street, at work, everywhere!

I’ve really just learned to accept this and not care about the strange glances I often receive from others. I remember a few years back walking the streets of Philly literally telling myself I needed to stop…

This does not make you look any better I assure you! Ha ha!

So, as with most things about myself I have come to embrace it!

It helps me work out my own thoughts, focus on tasks, feel better about myself if I need to amp myself up once in awhile, plenty of things!

Apparently, more studies than you might think back up this information. I remember reading one about people having to remember certain items and being told to repeat them out loud while others did not. With those who did performing the task significantly better than those who did not! Many different kinds of these studies and information exist on this topic if you find yourself curious.

One of the most famous “geniuses” of all time, Albert Einstein, was overly infamous for noticeably talking to himself!

I’m not calling myself or anyone who talks out loud to themselves to be such a person but I do think that a basis for it assisting with many things is justified!

I remembering seeing once as well that this can be recommended to do for people who may suffer from panic attacks for another example. Simply just saying what you plan to do out loud or how your feeling at the moment is said to help greatly in such a situation.

I speak out loud when I write and review almost all of my posts, let alone other things. I tend to be able to write as fast as I would talk to someone in person which helps a great deal in such matters.

So, in conclusion it helps people to focus better, work out thoughts and feelings, feel better about themselves, and just overall appears to bring about nothing but positive things.

I think more people do this than they may be willing to show and express in front of others in some circumstances from my experience discussing this with others.

I say embrace it wherever you are as long as it helps you with whatever you might be doing at any given time!

As always…

Try your best to forget what people think about you!

You’re probably way cooler and a more well adjusted person than they could ever hope to be anyways!

Thank you so much for Reading!

“paving space”by vaXzine is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

“& teach yourself to learn.”by Stephen O is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Media Mondays! My Experience Being in Bands/Supporting your Local Music Scene!

Any type of career or even mild interest in making it in any forms of entertainment has to be one of the most challenging and draining under takings that one can choose to devote their time to in my opinion.

It’s been almost 10 years, give or take, at this point since I was heavily involved with being in bands and taking part in live performances.

I have watched many of my friends and acquaintances dedicate their lives primarily to music throughout the years and even some that still do so to this day!

To make it in any form of entertainment you have to fully dedicate every last bit of yourself to fully committing to making it work! The second that you or one of your “partners” in such endeavors begin to lose interest or hope in such activities then you’ve already failed!

This can sound very harsh but 100% dedication for your particular passion has to constantly drive every second of your being or you may as well quit before you even begin to try.

This becomes even more complicated with trying to make something like a band work. Not only do you have to maintain this yourself but you also have to rely on the others in your particular group to keep up this mentality as well!

The many various factors that are involved in such a project are almost literally endless with how many different issues/concerns can arise!

Not only do you all have to stay in agreement on the material that you create together. You all also have to continue to get along hopefully on a personal level! All of this and more I have dealt with myself in my own experiences and watched many others struggle with as well.

As you would imagine the level of stress with all the varying factors that come into play during the creative process, working together at all times, and having to agree on things in general can all lead to a very “taxing” experience. Not only do you have to deal with creating the content itself but also when/how you choose to distribute it, where you all agree/disagree on performing, etc.

The saddest part of all of this is that even if you yourself or your band as a whole are incredibly talented and people love your music! The chance that you will still “make it” are slim to none no matter what!

This can be very hard to maintain such a level of dedication when you begin to enter your early 30’s for example, as myself and most of the individuals I used to associate with find themselves currently getting older. I remember in my early twenties watching other bands in their 30’s, 40’s or even older still giving it their all and they always had my highest respect! If you don’t continue to give it your absolute best and dedicate such a huge part of your life towards it then once again you will never succeed!

Complications can arise on multiple levels with such a “task” as you could imagine! Whether it be worrying about your career, continuing to pay bills, or even maintaining your personal relationships, whether this be friends, spouses, or even children for some.

Let’s break up this random depressing notion for a second with some positive thoughts!

I will always love a local music scene almost more than I prefer to see bigger more well known performances!

Nothing more amazing to me exists than watching people I know, or even ones I don’t know, up on stage playing their hearts out literally giving it their all doing what they love!

I remember one of the number one things I used to enjoy in my early twenties was going to this local “run down bar” in my nearest city that did “open-mic nights” every Wednesday! I will never forget those nights for the rest of my life! People were allowed to show up with whatever they wanted and play three songs a piece until everyone who wanted to play had a chance. Sometimes people would mix and match with others they just met, all different styles of music, ages, walks of life, and it was nothing short of an incredible mix of musical passions!

I know this is no new concept to many but big or small never underestimate how amazing it can be to experience your own local live music scene!

Sometimes this can become a struggle to maintain depending on location, other varying factors but even if your own might be on the decline then make it your own personal “duty” or project to make it great again!

I feel like honestly right when I found myself unable to stay so involved in my own local scene for a number of reasons was when it began to pick up more than ever before! New festivals, activities and the like were all growing and being created by the very people I used to share these experiences with.

Venues and places to play in general will always come and go but the spirit will always be alive inside people! Whether it’s at a location where you can currently actively see it or not!

You always have to remember that the most important thing about keeping a local scene alive is supporting other performers! I feel like this aspect of things is what greatly hurts local music in more ways than one.

I remember when I used to play live in one of my bands very early years that we would often always play with another very popular local band at the time. This band would show up with a reasonable number of fans who would leave along with the band themselves once their own set was complete.

This is absolutely disgraceful in my opinion!

How can you truly claim to love and appreciate music if you can’t even have that passion for your fellow local performers?

I hope to eventually be able to get to a point in the future eventually when I can play live more often again myself. Whether this be in another band or even just another acoustic set at an open mic!

Music will always be my overall biggest passion!

If you at all feel the same then I highly recommend you get out into your own local scene!

If you don’t have one?

Create one like I said!

Music truly will always be amazing in it’s ability to bring people together who have a mutual appreciation for it!

I think this is the primary reason that I will always love it so much above anything else!

Thank you so much for Reading!

(Probably could have made this two separate posts in retrospect but whatever! As always, the writing bug took hold and it ended up way longer than intended! Perhaps I’ll edit it in the future, ha ha!)

“Flight Brigade – Live”by phin_hall is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

“Music”by Chris_Hawes is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Where Does Your Satisfaction Come From? What Does this Word Mean to You?

I honestly had no intentions of making this post by any means up until a few hours ago. I currently keep a notebook where I list my various topic ideas for the future and I suppose this will somewhat include some of those concepts as well as others I’ve mentioned in the past. A great deal was honestly inspired reading posts from a fellow blogger which made me realize that I had been thinking about this more so than I had even fully acknowledged recently.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am truly so in love with the world of blogging in terms of being able to share ideas and thoughts with others. Blogging is more a personal autobiographical diary for me above all else really. If anyone appreciates or takes anything from it, that is all really just a plus to me.

Stay on topic, Cailin!

This all really goes hand in hand with what has even had all this on my mind recently though. Anyone who may have read my introductory post would have seen that I came across WordPress completely by accident while filling out a job application. I created one myself primarily at first just to get a feel for the site if I did manage to get the position I applied for. (I did not if you’re curious.)

Blogging and writing has always been appealing to me and something I was interested in trying but never pursued for whatever reason.

(I feel like I’m making this more about blogging which was not my intention…)

My overall point in all this rambling I suppose is that I’m a big believer in that everything happens for a reason for the most part. I’ve also found that this is a great outlet for me to occasionally organize the endless flow of thoughts that constantly occur within my head.

Jumping back to me pursuing other means of employment recently is what primarily put the current topic of discussion back into my mind. One I have always often come back to over the years for a number of reasons.

What I do for a job/career has honestly never been that important to me. I honestly have a ton of respect for anyone who truly knows what they want for themselves in this regard in many ways! When I was younger I always just wanted to help people until I realized that this could never be achieved for me in the way I wanted it to be. (I’ve mentioned this more in depth in previous posts so I won’t continue to ramble any further on unrelated things.)

My primary reason for bringing this up is with my current change in circumstances over the past few months I feel like once again I find myself bombarded by others who feel I don’t apply myself and/or waste my potential. I was completely content and happy with my old profession as well as past and future endeavors. As stated above this has never been important to me.

In all honestly, what anyone does for a living isn’t really of any interest to me for the most part. I care far more about who you are as a person and in life than your status or how much money you may make. You could make a million dollars a year and I could care less if you aren’t a good person. Granted some are able to combine helping others and/or including their passions within their professions but for most, sadly, this is not a realistic luxury. I feel this applies more nowadays than ever before.

I have never been a materialistic person in any sense whether it be what I wear, drive, own, or where I live. None of this has ever meant anything to me, nor does it matter to me in terms of anyone else’s life. If I ever do find myself overly wealthy for some reason I would probably still drive a “beater” vehicle and live in a smaller home with rather “bohemian” decor, ha ha!

I’ve never understood anyone who desires status and/or wealth feeling that this will somehow make them happy or have this need to prove anything to anyone else.

As long as I am surrounded by good people that I love, being a good person, helping others whenever I can expecting nothing in return, all while truly believing I am doing my best than what more could I ask for?

I really meant the entire theme of this post involving “satisfaction” in the generalist terms I possibly could!

I mean it also in the ways I just stated above including never expecting anything from anyone when I’m nice to them or help them. I feel like many do this for the sense of satisfaction or achievement which I will never understand as well.

I feel others even with some things can almost force a sense of satisfaction out of wanting to prove something and/or other exceptions of society in a completely different way. For example, the way that some may be obsessed with taking photos of themselves, others, places, or experiences just to prove they have/did them? (If that makes any sense at all…) I feel this reigns true more now than ever with “social media” being so important to many.

As also just mentioned above, I truly feel I have always lived and tried my absolute hardest in all aspects of life regardless of what anyone else may think about me. If I was to die tomorrow for whatever reason I would do so knowing that I was content and happy with myself all around until this point. I’ve had a great life so far honestly with many different types of experiences and people with hopefully much more still to come that I can’t even imagine.

I feel that many seem to limit their own personal satisfaction by things that other people or society put in place for them. They think they need an established career, to get married, purchase a house, have children, etc. and while all these things are well and good allowing many to feel a sense of satisfaction. You should by no means feel this is the only path to take or the only things that matter.

(I’d like to point out I have previously accomplished all of the aforementioned in the past for the record! None of this when all was said and done made me particularly happy for a number of reasons, with the only exception being my children.)

I guess I should wrap up this rambling once again with my initial question in the title of this post!

Where does your satisfaction come from?

What does this word even really mean?

I honestly couldn’t be more intrigued to potentially hear others thoughts on this subject!

As stated above, however, this is more just me needing to work out the thoughts in my own mind. About how others have recently made me reflect and think about my own actions and achievements. I know I can honestly say without a doubt that I am happy and down right proud of myself and how I’ve lived my life so far.

I don’t care what anyone else thinks about it and I never will!

Neither should you!

Whatever makes you happy and leaves you feeling satisfied with your life than keep doing it!

What else is life about?

Thank you so much for Reading!

(Jeez…I had a feeling that was going to be a long one no matter how hard I tried but come on girl…I really am the ramble on queen whether in real life or in writing even when I try my best, ha ha!)

“Lake Como, Belmar”by Khaz is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Trans-Topic Thursdays! The Importance of Always Being Yourself! (By No Means Strictly a Trans Related Post!)

One thing I can not stand almost more than anything else is fake people! Something about this type of person, at least for me personally, is always so easy to pick up on and identify right off the bat. I couldn’t pin point exactly what it is about them that makes it so obvious per se. I feel it primarily has to just be mainly you can tend to tell when a person is trying to hard I suppose? I would imagine this has to become quite exhausting on occasion.

I’ve made it a habit since I was very young to only surround myself with genuine people whenever I was able to make the choice on who I spent my time with. I can’t think of many close friends I’ve ever had in my life that didn’t fit this qualification.

I understand fully that in some circumstances in can sometimes be necessary to put up some type of front or “wear a mask” as they say. Depending on the type of work environment you may find yourself in for example. I know I have personally worked many jobs that required a healthy amount of customer service. This sure does not mean that I keep up this level of presentation with my coworkers or even all customers however. I know a good majority of us can often hold back when first meeting someone whether it be a new potential friend or family member. This is completely normal as well! I’m talking mainly in the sense of once these relationships have been established for a reasonable amount of time.

I know for myself that any ability I ever had to hide anything of myself from anyone has all but completely faded since I started hormones and began transitioning.

(See, we are getting into why this is more of a trans-topic post now!)

I’m not entirely sure if this is more based on the mental changes I have undergone, just being tired of holding back my full “true self” for so long, or the latter.

I can say from my own experience and interactions with other transgender individuals that you will rarely encounter one of us that isn’t completely a genuine person! This applies more so once you get farther into your transition I feel for the most part but this is by no means always the case!

A piece of advice I’d like to give to those who may be just beginning to transition (or really anyone for that matter) is letting yourself fully find out who you are. I mean this more in the sense as to never feel the need to limit yourself by expectations!

Never let anyone or anything make you feel that you have to be anything that you’re not!

What I mean by this mainly to give an example, I tended to feel like early on in my own transition that some expected me to like overly change somehow in the sense that I would be stereo-typically more “girly” or something along these lines.

Do not get me wrong!

I am plenty “girly” in a number of different ways, ha ha!

However, I would say I am far from being dominantly so!

I am beyond “tom-boyish” in plenty of ways as well!

Once again though, what is all this honestly based on in the first place except for certain expectations put in place by our society?

What exactly is it that make such things absolutely have to be more preferred or “normal” by one gender over the other?

Why can’t people just be people?

I suppose this can sound a bit odd from someone who felt so strongly about their gender identity that they felt the need to change certain aspects of herself to feel more comfortable but I would hope you understand my point here, ha ha!

Back to just talking more in a general sense!

I feel like a common area this can apply for anyone is often being embarrassed or ashamed of your interests.

Whether they may be considered nerdy/geeky (whatever the heck this even means once again!) or anything in general for whatever reason a friend/family member of yours doesn’t approve of.

First and foremost!

Learn to stop caring at all what people think about you in any sense of the word!

I realize that this can be much easier said than done depending on the situation but does it really need to be?

Own whatever it is that you enjoy and makes you yourself!

And love yourself for it!

We are all incredibly unique people and this is what makes us all fantastically amazing!

No one else in this world no matter what will ever be exactly who you are!

Remember this!

Not only have I personally embraced my gender identity over the past five or so years but this process has also made me learn to be myself completely and fully! (Whether I want to be or not for the most part as stated above, ha ha!) I have all but ceased trying to hide my “weird” and often “crazy” self from anyone no matter who you are! Random stranger on street, my friends, my family, anyone!

I know I already stated this above but once again learn to love yourself for what makes you special!

I can almost guarantee that if you own whatever makes you uniquely yourself that you will become a ton happier than you have ever been in your life!

(As I often like to include in various posts! Always keeping in mind as long as this never involves harming anyone or causing anyone any kind of pain! If you do feel like this then please do yourself a favor and seek some type of help, ha ha!)

If you don’t love yourself for whatever reason right now, take comfort in the fact that even though I might not know you, I love you!

I mean this sincerely!

I tend to be cursed with this ability to always see the good in people and find something I like about you even with the aforementioned “faker” types. I’m sure you have your reasons for acting the way you do!

Thank you so much for Reading!

“Morning Hike”by SewPixie is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Media Mondays! All the Greats Come from New Jersey! (I Know Not All…but a Good Amount!)

I was born and bred in New Jersey so granted I may be slightly bias when it comes to this particular topic.

I’m a Jersey Girl through and through!

Anyone who has ever had the pleasure would know we truly are one of a kind!

I don’t know what exactly it is about Jersey folk that seems to bring about some type of special unique quality but from my interactions with people from other places it is without a doubt undeniable!

It’s an attitude, presence and just overall state of being that I truly don’t think can be compared to anything else for whatever reason.

New Jersey may have a lot of flaws even more so now than ever honestly but I will always love the fact that I grew up here. How many other places can you go that literally have practically anything you can find anywhere else. Granted it may not be the best version of it by any stretch but we have beaches, mountains, cities, and probably a lot more country areas than those who have never visited before realize.

Every year, however, things just continue to become extremely more expensive and overpopulated!

(I would seriously debate finding somewhere else to live at this point if I wasn’t tied to my current area for a number of reasons.)

This overpopulation itself is probably one of the more important factors for why so many well known individuals have come from the state let alone the mentality.

I’m sure a good majority of the more well known famous people many have heard of and/or are aware of. Such as Frank Sinatra, Whitney Houston, Danny DeVito, Buzz Aldrin, just to name a few of the random examples I can think of without even having to look.

I assure you though!

If you were to run a simple search you would probably be utterly shocked by the sheer number of people you would recognize who were either born and/or raised in New Jersey.

Whether it be musicians, actors, historical figures, etc. clearly something must be “in the water” to bring about such a plethora of amazing people from so many different industries.

I feel in particular that this applies when it comes to music. Most of my favorite bands are from New Jersey without even going out of my way to make it so. Jersey has an incredible underground music scene as well as more mainstream aspects.

Trust me when I say it’s a lot more diverse than just “gangster style” movie stereotype people, ha ha!

No matter where I may end up in my life in the future New Jersey will always be my home and I will love it forever!

Thank you so much for Reading!

“Jersey City Backstreets”by Friscocali is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

“Seaside Heighs Ferris Wheel”by Khaz is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

I’ve Never Felt Age was as Relevant as Some Often Make it Seem.

I’d like to first start by saying do not get me wrong at all to think I don’t feel that age can in some circumstances hold some level of relevance. I do feel, however, that more often that not it is rarely all that relative at all.

I feel shortly after most of us finish our varying levels of education/enter the workforce that people typically have a general sense of who they are and how they view the world. Not to say that some are not open and capable of changing in major ways but this in itself tends to be a bit of a rarity in my opinion.

I remember coming to this realization fairly soon in my early twenties. When you are still in school in your teens many still seem to have this view that “adults” are so much different than themselves at the time. (My sister being a very funny example of this still seeming to feel this way even now being 30.)

When I first became employed at a company full time regularly beginning to interact with others of all ages I came to the conclusion that by this point in most people lives that age really doesn’t mean anything. Everyone for the most part is primarily the same when it comes to what they may want, need, or desire. They have hopes, dreams, struggles, opinions, etc.

I remember I used to hardly be able to stand when anyone would jump to any type of conclusions about me as a person based solely on age. I have never considered myself to be typical in this sense often referring to the old expression of being an “old soul.” I have always thought and reflected on things that sometimes those much older than me at the time probably still have never gave a second thought in their lives.

I try my absolute best to remember to keep this mindset whenever I tend to interact with others who are younger than myself. I currently work with a young man who was only 19 when I initially met him. I have had more mature and thought provoking conversations with this person even more so than I have with people double or even triple his age. I often have even on some occasions forgotten how young he is sometimes because he in no way reflects any type of stereotypical “youth mentalities.”

Once again, this is all not to say that age does not in fact sometimes have relevance in some circumstances. Situations such as building a life for yourself including various achievements you hoped to obtain and being able to support yourself are primarily things that some can only learn with time. This concept itself is in no way a universal truth for all though as well by any means. You could be born into wealth or become famous at a young age for example.

This leads right into my next point being that a person’s age in no way reflects experiences they may have had that others can never relate to. This could range from simple things to ones that are very extreme. They could have lost a parent or friend at a young age, struggled with different types of abuse, come from a completely different national origin than you, the list is literally endless but I think you get my point.

You really can never know what goes on in someone’s head or what they may have dealt with simply just going by age or appearances.

This is just a simple thought I’ve always had in my life since I was very young and have often discussed with others. It is in no way intended to be taken all that seriously. I feel it is simply an interesting concept that can vary greatly in the opinions others may share.

I mean even think about in the distant past how short lifespans were and how different things could be as far as when people would achieve various “life milestones.” Age is as relevant as time itself. It honestly is all more just a matter of perception and how you choose to view things.

So, next time you may make a snap judgement about a person whether they be younger or older than you, maybe just take a second to really think about that before you do!

Thank you so much for Reading!

“DSC06567”by Poisoned_Pics_Photography is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

“Ageing”by paulbence is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

Trans-Topic Thursdays! My Recent Experience Trying Dating Apps for the First Time!

As the title would suggest, I recently only a short while ago decided to finally experiment with dating apps for the first time ever in my life.

I’m a very traditional girl in every sense of the word when it comes to relationships and the like.

I’m not the type to do one night stands or any type of random hook ups really. I prefer to actually date someone that I share a real connection with and don’t do so very often. I can easily count the number of serious relationships I’ve ever really had on one hand.

I’ve always been a sucker for “movie magic romance” I suppose.

Two people meet in real life by chance, instantly share a connection and it just grows from there. Maybe a good old damsel in distress scenario, love at first sight or any of the other various movie cliches they make you believe as a child, ha ha!

Clearly, I’m grown up a lot and have realized it takes a lot more than such things to make a relationship work. The sole reason for me expressing all this is simply I never thought I would ever try any type of dating app in my life.

So, how did it go you might be wondering?

I barely even know where to begin…

I was absolutely overwhelmed with messages to say the least! Easily over a hundred only within the first day or so…

I’ve only played around with two separate apps so far so I’m sure results can vary greatly depending on which ones you may try but I primarily dealt with the same things on both of these.

First of all, being transgendered, I am never one not to disclose this information to someone the second they show any type of romantic interest in me. (This has really hurt in a number of ways previously in “real life” for the record which may even be what prompted me to try this is the first place.) In both of my profiles I made sure to express I was trans right away in the first section of my introduction.

Yet still…

A good majority of men clearly don’t read this at all and I found myself on multiple occasions dealing with them being both shocked and/or disgusted!

This makes a girl feel fantastic I assure you! (Trademark Sarcasm!)

After I get done sorting through these lovely types of people I’ve found that three main groups of others remain!

Regular run of the mill perverts/creeps! (Which I know all woman have experienced whether they want to or not!)
Fetish types! (Who rarely are even well informed on trans-related topics)
The very elusive potentially good guy!

I wouldn’t imagine I need to say much about how creepy some men can be. No offense to some of you gentlemen! Seriously, I even felt the need to eventually put in my profile that I won’t even respond if you instantly show me a pic of your “private areas,” then isn’t that almost enough said? Let alone just the instantaneous random very inappropriate comments!

Now, fetish types, this one almost deserves it’s own post in the future so I’ll try to keep this brief. If you at all attempt to approach or date a trans-person I can almost guarantee 100% of the time that they will never want to viewed as anything but themselves! If you have any interest in us just for being what we are then you need to GO AWAY!

This almost became a game to me at a point to make it my own personal pleasure to destroy these types of people! I would only do this after trying my best to honestly educate them on transgender individuals before so for the record.

This leads me right into my next point that applies to both these first two groups, being simply that in some circumstances that being transgendered somehow implies that you are “desperate” in the eyes of some people. I don’t understand what puts this idea in some peoples heads and maybe it doesn’t apply to all but it sure does to me! I have stayed single for quite some time by choice for the most part I promise you! I actually ended up adding this to my profile eventually as well even though it was about as helpful as everything else included on it…

Lastly, that leaves the extremely seldom found actually decent person who actually wants to attempt to have a conversation with you! I’d say from my experience this is roughly about 1/10 or so which is probably almost being a bit generous…

My experience so far in communicating with this rare breed has been quite the mixed bag. Sometimes it seems like you two are getting along extremely well only for them to turn out to be one of the other previously two mentioned types of people or just disappearing without any reason/word a good majority of the time.

I have since still, somewhat continued to talk to a few individuals off these apps but I’m not sure if anything will ever come from them or not. I did meet one person so far in person which went reasonably well but after that night I have yet to hear from them again. (Probably because I was unwilling to perform certain acts on our first meeting if your curious…)

I think I’ve learned the best way to approach this type of thing is to simply have no serious expectations and just try your best to keep it fun and casual?

I know many people I know personally have been lucky enough to find real long lasting relationships so I believe that it’s possible and some level of hope for achieving this exists if that’s what you so desire. If you go in with the mindset of knowing what you want or are looking for then I think it’s worth trying at least. Just certainly expect quite a wide variety of people to sort through before finding someone looking for something similar.

I personally don’t know how much longer I intend to keep using them myself honestly. I already have not used them for at least a week and have no idea if I plan to return to continue to do so currently.

Why do I have to be cursed with being such a romantic?!?

Kidding for the most part, but I do feel a certain level of truth exists in this statement for those who may feel similar to myself.

Dating sucks whether it’s the old fashioned way or by newer means!

I will always believe that eventually everyone will find love and happiness with someone else if that’s what they truly hope to find!

We all deserve love and support in our lives no matter who that may come from!

I feel like this post has ended up way longer than I intended even with trying my best to hold back so I’ll wrap it up here, as always…

Thank you so much for Reading!

“From Ads to Avenue of Chat: A History of Online Dating” by Jenny Waterson is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0