Media Mondays! My Experience Being in Bands/Supporting your Local Music Scene!


Any type of career or even mild interest in making it in any forms of entertainment has to be one of the most challenging and draining under takings that one can choose to devote their time to in my opinion.

It’s been almost 10 years, give or take, at this point since I was heavily involved with being in bands and taking part in live performances.

I have watched many of my friends and acquaintances dedicate their lives primarily to music throughout the years and even some that still do so to this day!

To make it in any form of entertainment you have to fully dedicate every last bit of yourself to fully committing to making it work! The second that you or one of your “partners” in such endeavors begin to lose interest or hope in such activities then you’ve already failed!

This can sound very harsh but 100% dedication for your particular passion has to constantly drive every second of your being or you may as well quit before you even begin to try.

This becomes even more complicated with trying to make something like a band work. Not only do you have to maintain this yourself but you also have to rely on the others in your particular group to keep up this mentality as well!

The many various factors that are involved in such a project are almost literally endless with how many different issues/concerns can arise!

Not only do you all have to stay in agreement on the material that you create together. You all also have to continue to get along hopefully on a personal level! All of this and more I have dealt with myself in my own experiences and watched many others struggle with as well.

As you would imagine the level of stress with all the varying factors that come into play during the creative process, working together at all times, and having to agree on things in general can all lead to a very “taxing” experience. Not only do you have to deal with creating the content itself but also when/how you choose to distribute it, where you all agree/disagree on performing, etc.

The saddest part of all of this is that even if you yourself or your band as a whole are incredibly talented and people love your music! The chance that you will still “make it” are slim to none no matter what!

This can be very hard to maintain such a level of dedication when you begin to enter your early 30’s for example, as myself and most of the individuals I used to associate with find themselves currently getting older. I remember in my early twenties watching other bands in their 30’s, 40’s or even older still giving it their all and they always had my highest respect! If you don’t continue to give it your absolute best and dedicate such a huge part of your life towards it then once again you will never succeed!

Complications can arise on multiple levels with such a “task” as you could imagine! Whether it be worrying about your career, continuing to pay bills, or even maintaining your personal relationships, whether this be friends, spouses, or even children for some.

Let’s break up this random depressing notion for a second with some positive thoughts!

I will always love a local music scene almost more than I prefer to see bigger more well known performances!

Nothing more amazing to me exists than watching people I know, or even ones I don’t know, up on stage playing their hearts out literally giving it their all doing what they love!

I remember one of the number one things I used to enjoy in my early twenties was going to this local “run down bar” in my nearest city that did “open-mic nights” every Wednesday! I will never forget those nights for the rest of my life! People were allowed to show up with whatever they wanted and play three songs a piece until everyone who wanted to play had a chance. Sometimes people would mix and match with others they just met, all different styles of music, ages, walks of life, and it was nothing short of an incredible mix of musical passions!

I know this is no new concept to many but big or small never underestimate how amazing it can be to experience your own local live music scene!

Sometimes this can become a struggle to maintain depending on location, other varying factors but even if your own might be on the decline then make it your own personal “duty” or project to make it great again!

I feel like honestly right when I found myself unable to stay so involved in my own local scene for a number of reasons was when it began to pick up more than ever before! New festivals, activities and the like were all growing and being created by the very people I used to share these experiences with.

Venues and places to play in general will always come and go but the spirit will always be alive inside people! Whether it’s at a location where you can currently actively see it or not!

You always have to remember that the most important thing about keeping a local scene alive is supporting other performers! I feel like this aspect of things is what greatly hurts local music in more ways than one.

I remember when I used to play live in one of my bands very early years that we would often always play with another very popular local band at the time. This band would show up with a reasonable number of fans who would leave along with the band themselves once their own set was complete.

This is absolutely disgraceful in my opinion!

How can you truly claim to love and appreciate music if you can’t even have that passion for your fellow local performers?

I hope to eventually be able to get to a point in the future eventually when I can play live more often again myself. Whether this be in another band or even just another acoustic set at an open mic!

Music will always be my overall biggest passion!

If you at all feel the same then I highly recommend you get out into your own local scene!

If you don’t have one?

Create one like I said!

Music truly will always be amazing in it’s ability to bring people together who have a mutual appreciation for it!

I think this is the primary reason that I will always love it so much above anything else!

Thank you so much for Reading!

(Probably could have made this two separate posts in retrospect but whatever! As always, the writing bug took hold and it ended up way longer than intended! Perhaps I’ll edit it in the future, ha ha!)


“Flight Brigade – Live”by phin_hall is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

“Music”by Chris_Hawes is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Trans-Topic Thursdays! The Importance of Always Being Yourself! (By No Means Strictly a Trans Related Post!)


One thing I can not stand almost more than anything else is fake people! Something about this type of person, at least for me personally, is always so easy to pick up on and identify right off the bat. I couldn’t pin point exactly what it is about them that makes it so obvious per se. I feel it primarily has to just be mainly you can tend to tell when a person is trying to hard I suppose? I would imagine this has to become quite exhausting on occasion.

I’ve made it a habit since I was very young to only surround myself with genuine people whenever I was able to make the choice on who I spent my time with. I can’t think of many close friends I’ve ever had in my life that didn’t fit this qualification.

I understand fully that in some circumstances in can sometimes be necessary to put up some type of front or “wear a mask” as they say. Depending on the type of work environment you may find yourself in for example. I know I have personally worked many jobs that required a healthy amount of customer service. This sure does not mean that I keep up this level of presentation with my coworkers or even all customers however. I know a good majority of us can often hold back when first meeting someone whether it be a new potential friend or family member. This is completely normal as well! I’m talking mainly in the sense of once these relationships have been established for a reasonable amount of time.

I know for myself that any ability I ever had to hide anything of myself from anyone has all but completely faded since I started hormones and began transitioning.

(See, we are getting into why this is more of a trans-topic post now!)

I’m not entirely sure if this is more based on the mental changes I have undergone, just being tired of holding back my full “true self” for so long, or the latter.

I can say from my own experience and interactions with other transgender individuals that you will rarely encounter one of us that isn’t completely a genuine person! This applies more so once you get farther into your transition I feel for the most part but this is by no means always the case!

A piece of advice I’d like to give to those who may be just beginning to transition (or really anyone for that matter) is letting yourself fully find out who you are. I mean this more in the sense as to never feel the need to limit yourself by expectations!

Never let anyone or anything make you feel that you have to be anything that you’re not!

What I mean by this mainly to give an example, I tended to feel like early on in my own transition that some expected me to like overly change somehow in the sense that I would be stereo-typically more “girly” or something along these lines.

Do not get me wrong!

I am plenty “girly” in a number of different ways, ha ha!

However, I would say I am far from being dominantly so!

I am beyond “tom-boyish” in plenty of ways as well!

Once again though, what is all this honestly based on in the first place except for certain expectations put in place by our society?

What exactly is it that make such things absolutely have to be more preferred or “normal” by one gender over the other?

Why can’t people just be people?

I suppose this can sound a bit odd from someone who felt so strongly about their gender identity that they felt the need to change certain aspects of herself to feel more comfortable but I would hope you understand my point here, ha ha!

Back to just talking more in a general sense!

I feel like a common area this can apply for anyone is often being embarrassed or ashamed of your interests.

Whether they may be considered nerdy/geeky (whatever the heck this even means once again!) or anything in general for whatever reason a friend/family member of yours doesn’t approve of.

First and foremost!

Learn to stop caring at all what people think about you in any sense of the word!

I realize that this can be much easier said than done depending on the situation but does it really need to be?

Own whatever it is that you enjoy and makes you yourself!

And love yourself for it!

We are all incredibly unique people and this is what makes us all fantastically amazing!

No one else in this world no matter what will ever be exactly who you are!

Remember this!

Not only have I personally embraced my gender identity over the past five or so years but this process has also made me learn to be myself completely and fully! (Whether I want to be or not for the most part as stated above, ha ha!) I have all but ceased trying to hide my “weird” and often “crazy” self from anyone no matter who you are! Random stranger on street, my friends, my family, anyone!

I know I already stated this above but once again learn to love yourself for what makes you special!

I can almost guarantee that if you own whatever makes you uniquely yourself that you will become a ton happier than you have ever been in your life!

(As I often like to include in various posts! Always keeping in mind as long as this never involves harming anyone or causing anyone any kind of pain! If you do feel like this then please do yourself a favor and seek some type of help, ha ha!)

If you don’t love yourself for whatever reason right now, take comfort in the fact that even though I might not know you, I love you!

I mean this sincerely!

I tend to be cursed with this ability to always see the good in people and find something I like about you even with the aforementioned “faker” types. I’m sure you have your reasons for acting the way you do!

Thank you so much for Reading!


“Morning Hike”by SewPixie is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Media Mondays! All the Greats Come from New Jersey! (I Know Not All…but a Good Amount!)


I was born and bred in New Jersey so granted I may be slightly bias when it comes to this particular topic.

I’m a Jersey Girl through and through!

Anyone who has ever had the pleasure would know we truly are one of a kind!

I don’t know what exactly it is about Jersey folk that seems to bring about some type of special unique quality but from my interactions with people from other places it is without a doubt undeniable!

It’s an attitude, presence and just overall state of being that I truly don’t think can be compared to anything else for whatever reason.

New Jersey may have a lot of flaws even more so now than ever honestly but I will always love the fact that I grew up here. How many other places can you go that literally have practically anything you can find anywhere else. Granted it may not be the best version of it by any stretch but we have beaches, mountains, cities, and probably a lot more country areas than those who have never visited before realize.

Every year, however, things just continue to become extremely more expensive and overpopulated!

(I would seriously debate finding somewhere else to live at this point if I wasn’t tied to my current area for a number of reasons.)

This overpopulation itself is probably one of the more important factors for why so many well known individuals have come from the state let alone the mentality.

I’m sure a good majority of the more well known famous people many have heard of and/or are aware of. Such as Frank Sinatra, Whitney Houston, Danny DeVito, Buzz Aldrin, just to name a few of the random examples I can think of without even having to look.

I assure you though!

If you were to run a simple search you would probably be utterly shocked by the sheer number of people you would recognize who were either born and/or raised in New Jersey.

Seaside Ferris Wheel

Whether it be musicians, actors, historical figures, etc. clearly something must be “in the water” to bring about such a plethora of amazing people from so many different industries.

I feel in particular that this applies when it comes to music. Most of my favorite bands are from New Jersey without even going out of my way to make it so. Jersey has an incredible underground music scene as well as more mainstream aspects.

Trust me when I say it’s a lot more diverse than just “gangster style” movie stereotype people, ha ha!

No matter where I may end up in my life in the future New Jersey will always be my home and I will love it forever!

Thank you so much for Reading!


“Jersey City Backstreets”by Friscocali is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

“Seaside Heighs Ferris Wheel”by Khaz is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

I’ve Never Felt Age was as Relevant as Some Often Make it Seem.


I’d like to first start by saying do not get me wrong at all to think I don’t feel that age can in some circumstances hold some level of relevance. I do feel, however, that more often that not it is rarely all that relative at all.

I feel shortly after most of us finish our varying levels of education/enter the workforce that people typically have a general sense of who they are and how they view the world. Not to say that some are not open and capable of changing in major ways but this in itself tends to be a bit of a rarity in my opinion.

I remember coming to this realization fairly soon in my early twenties. When you are still in school in your teens many still seem to have this view that “adults” are so much different than themselves at the time. (My sister being a very funny example of this still seeming to feel this way even now being 30.)

When I first became employed at a company full time regularly beginning to interact with others of all ages I came to the conclusion that by this point in most people lives that age really doesn’t mean anything. Everyone for the most part is primarily the same when it comes to what they may want, need, or desire. They have hopes, dreams, struggles, opinions, etc.

I remember I used to hardly be able to stand when anyone would jump to any type of conclusions about me as a person based solely on age. I have never considered myself to be typical in this sense often referring to the old expression of being an “old soul.” I have always thought and reflected on things that sometimes those much older than me at the time probably still have never gave a second thought in their lives.

I try my absolute best to remember to keep this mindset whenever I tend to interact with others who are younger than myself. I currently work with a young man who was only 19 when I initially met him. I have had more mature and thought provoking conversations with this person even more so than I have with people double or even triple his age. I often have even on some occasions forgotten how young he is sometimes because he in no way reflects any type of stereotypical “youth mentalities.”

Once again, this is all not to say that age does not in fact sometimes have relevance in some circumstances. Situations such as building a life for yourself including various achievements you hoped to obtain and being able to support yourself are primarily things that some can only learn with time. This concept itself is in no way a universal truth for all though as well by any means. You could be born into wealth or become famous at a young age for example.

This leads right into my next point being that a person’s age in no way reflects experiences they may have had that others can never relate to. This could range from simple things to ones that are very extreme. They could have lost a parent or friend at a young age, struggled with different types of abuse, come from a completely different national origin than you, the list is literally endless but I think you get my point.

You really can never know what goes on in someone’s head or what they may have dealt with simply just going by age or appearances.



This is just a simple thought I’ve always had in my life since I was very young and have often discussed with others. It is in no way intended to be taken all that seriously. I feel it is simply an interesting concept that can vary greatly in the opinions others may share.

I mean even think about in the distant past how short lifespans were and how different things could be as far as when people would achieve various “life milestones.” Age is as relevant as time itself. It honestly is all more just a matter of perception and how you choose to view things.

So, next time you may make a snap judgement about a person whether they be younger or older than you, maybe just take a second to really think about that before you do!

Thank you so much for Reading!


“DSC06567”by Poisoned_Pics_Photography is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

“Ageing”by paulbence is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

Where did all the Good People go…?

While laying in my bed at 7 in the morning here on what is now Saturday, I find myself unable to stop thinking about a topic I find myself often coming back to.

One I’m sure many of us often ponder!

I feel, more and more nowadays, that you continue to keep seeing and hearing people talk about slowly losing what little “faith in humanity” they may have left.

I find myself, more often than not, agreeing with this line of thinking no matter how depressing it may be!

However, no matter how much I do occasionally feel this way I still never seem to be able to lose my sense of “hope” whether I want to or not. I always tend to see the good in people when others may not be able to. (Unless they may have done something “absolutely unforgivable” which honestly is only a few things that are mostly universally acknowledged to be terrible. As such, I won’t begin to list them off at this time.)

I’m not one to “toot my own horn” as they say, but throughout most of my life I have always had people, both personally and professionally, tell me that I’m “one of the nicest people they have ever met!”

Honestly, I’ve never understood this…

What makes me that much different from the vast majority that allows people to pick up on this about me when I don’t feel I do anything special at all…

Is it because I always treat everyone the same no matter what?

Or that I genuinely care about everyone that I meet no matter how big or small the interaction may be?

I truly don’t understand it most the time, and as much as it is nice to hear it also makes me just as sad…

For so many people to say this when I do nothing phenomenal is just upsetting I guess?

I feel like most of the stuff you learn when your in say, kindergarten are honestly the best words you can ever live by!

“Treat others how you want to be treated!”

“If you have nothing nice to say, it may be better to say nothing at all.”

You know? Simple phrases and sayings along these lines.

It all sounds so simple to me and I don’t understand why it’s so hard for some to be like this?

Sure, I understand that human nature can be a very hard thing to overcome sometimes. The norm, more often that not, in our society is one of selfishness sadly…

I can’t blame anyone for this!

I understand but when such simple words and actions for all you know could make all the difference in a person’s day then why not simply do that…?

It baffles me most of the time to say the least!

In my younger days, I used to be one of those people who would rant and rave about how they were gonna CHANGE THE WORLD AND MAKE IT BETTER PLACE!

I still do feel this way for the most part but I am, however, significantly less passionate about it then I once was.

This kills me some days!

Indifference of good people being one of the greatest evils and all that jazz being another very well known popular phrase!

Growing older just, sadly, has a way of crushing your hopes and dreams when you are constantly just bombarded by the realities of life I suppose?

I’ve come to accept, for the most part, that the change I’ve always wanted to see in the world is “idealistic.” Most likely, it will never happen until like some great disaster or tragedy causes all of humanity to come together, or something along those lines, in the best possible way!

With the current state of things, especially in recent years, whether this end up being brought on by natural means or otherwise could very well be in the near future for all I know. I just truly pray that if such an event does ever occur that humanity can truly come out triumphant.

I mentioned once briefly in a previous post about one of the reasons why I love blogging so much is because you get news and information right from the mouths of real people. I stopped following more traditional forms of these quite some time ago. It’s really the only way I’ve been able to mildly be able to function without constantly being depressed about the state of the world.

I’ll never be able to understand things like war, poverty, corporate greed, etc…

Once again, I know this is all very idealistic but I truly never will.

It baffles me when we are beyond capable of changing things that would allow everyone adequate resources and the basic necessities of life why we just don’t simply put this into action as a society?

Nowadays, I mainly just live by another very common phrase and/or philosophy, “Be the change you want to see in the World!

If even one person is in someway affected and/or touched by a simple gesture or kind word that influences them to reflect and perhaps act as such more in their own lives then couldn’t this potentially trickle down until the whole world was affected?

I know this is not realistically possible but it’s a nice thought none the less.

Human nature will always still be what it is. At least, with the way our current society continues to function.

Anyways, just some late night/early morning thoughts from a girl who tends to struggle to sleep on a daily basis!

(The title for this post was slightly influenced by the genius musician and master poet Jack Johnson for any of my music loving followers out there! I really have to make a “Media Mondays” post on that man one day because just WOW! He truly is nothing short of amazing!)

Thank you so much for Reading!

Be good to each other people!

It’s not that hard of a concept!

“Searching waves”by maik_sv is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0