Karma! Are You a Believer?

Karma is a concept you often hear many people toss around and discuss at the drop of a hat in our daily lives. I wouldn’t imagine their are many people who are not familiar with the idea.

With most things along these lines I feel it needs to be taken with a grain of salt as they say.

It’s a comforting notion to think that those who do good things will be rewarded while those who do bad things will get what’s coming to them.

For the most part I have to say that I’m a believer myself.

Sometimes you can even see examples of “instant karma” where immediately after someone does something a reaction can take place almost right away to counteract the initial action.

I feel I have also witnessed this on a much grander scale of affecting people’s lives in a much more significant way, sometimes even much further down the line.

Sadly, as much as you can often see signs of karma taking effect, you will also see just as many incidents of those who do everything they possibly can for others while most of their life still can remain quite challenging.

So, does such a thing truly exist?

I tend to ponder this often when it pertains to my own life, seeming to have almost a perfect balance between good and bad luck.

I actually have an interesting story that could maybe explain my own personal state of being in this respect.

In my mid teens, probably around the age of 14-15, I had one of the most interesting interactions of my life with a “fortune teller.” This was something I had approached quite casually at the time believing that most of these types of things tend to be “acts” and solely for entertainment purposes. (This is not to say I’m not a believer in such abilities for the record!)

The reason I feel I have always remembered this particular occasion is because this is one of the only times with such a thing that this woman seemed so genuine and real. Long story short, she proceeded to tell me that my life would always be a constant struggle from the “bad karma” I was carrying from being a terrible person in my past life. (Clearly, this brings up an entirely different concept of reincarnation being real. Another topic I plan to discuss in the future!)

Honestly, though?

How many times have you ever heard of someone trying something like this and receiving such terrible news?

Aren’t these types of people supposed to tell you great fortune is in your future or the love of your life is right around the corner?

What did she possibly have to gain from saying such a thing?

I’ve questioned all this probably more than I should have throughout my life. She could have just been a “pro” in her field and just trying to seem legitimate but even still…

Keep in mind, I have by no means let this information control my thoughts or actions. It just always stuck with me for being an interesting experience is all.

It really does make a decent amount of sense for me as I began to explain earlier. How can I truly never have ever committed what I would consider to be malicious acts and still tend to have such bad luck more often than not? I’ve stated in previous posts in a completely non-boasting sense that I consider myself to be a pretty good person. I treat everyone exactly the same and always help others without ever expecting anything in return.

Is it truly this balance between my current karma and my past karma that gives me such an equal amount of “luck?”

Whatever the case may be, it is what it is!

It’s not like I would ever allow such a thing to rule me as I said.

What is life if not constant ups and downs for most part?

Regardless, if karma is real or not it would never change how I live my life and continue to treat others.

What are your thoughts on karma?

Are you a believer?

“Serendipity”by Maggie Houtz is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Just Wanted to Let You All Know I’m Still Here… (Also, I was Fired for the First Time in my Life…)

I can’t believe it’s been an entire month since I apologized for not being able to post after losing power for those few days weeks ago…

To say the least, that was the beginning of me entering one of my lovely “bad things tend to happen in threes” scenarios.

I find this quite funny considering one of the posts I had been working on at this time was on karma and how relevant it tends to be to my life in this respect. I will most likely edit said topic shortly after this and post it soon. Even though it seems odd to work on something I wrote over a month ago so we’ll see how that goes. It may not reflect my current feelings and circumstances which just wouldn’t feel right…

I sadly currently find myself in a very low place which occurs more often than I’d like in the course of my life. I found that when I first began to blog that it was very useful in helping me in this respect. Not only in organizing my own thoughts but also to help give me a task that I enjoyed doing. It doesn’t even necessarily feel right to post in a state of mind when I am not all that positive since this is what I always hope to inspire and convey. I am all about being real as well though which I guess is bound to coincide with this at times. I’m struggling very much right now to find anything that can hold my attention or give me even a moment of relief.

Gotta love depression!

It actually feels wrong to call this depression since actual clinical depression is typically brought on by nothing at all (which I’m no stranger to as well!) and this time I certainly have circumstances that have triggered my current feelings. (Or lack there of I should say…it’s sad how I still tend to revert to my “pre-transition” defense mechanism at times.)

I’m truly trying my best to not let my anxiety consume me as it has so many times before in the past.

To make a long story short, once my power was finally restored I came back to find my internet had been shut off which left me unable to post and I was only able to afford to restore it a few days ago. I live all by myself and just basic necessities are hard for me to maintain even when I do make decent money.

I briefly mentioned once I believe in my post on “satisfaction” that my job circumstances had recently changed for various reasons leading me to make a significant amount less than I was before so.

I had become completely content with this change in career because I thoroughly enjoyed the change of work experience and was really good at it if I do say so myself! My friend was my manager, with me being one of his assistant managers. I was happy and finally starting to feel better but with most good things in life this sadly came to an end sooner rather than later…

A number of “drama packed” incidents occurred within my company as they seem to do more often than not over my past two years with them which ended with my friend/boss quitting. This left my store in quite a disarray.

Two weeks later….for the first time in my life…

I was FIRED!

I was asked to leave one night with absolutely no reasoning by the person who was chosen to replace my boss. At first, he wouldn’t even give me a reason as I stated, just abruptly told me to clock out and leave for the night. Eventually, coming outside to speak to me informing me he heard rumors me and a fellow manager were planning a “mutiny.” Yes, he literally used this word…

The other girl and I were utterly shocked by this statement to say the least and couldn’t believe we were being dismissed for nothing but “locker room rumors” considering we were practically running the day to day operations entirely by ourselves. It ended with him saying we could both return to work the following day. The next morning, however, I woke up to a voicemail saying once again that I was no longer needed and that was that.

This was only last week…

I honestly wasn’t sure if I had planned to return regardless after such events having never experienced such disrespect and lack of trust in a workplace.

I’m still taking it quite hard because not only have I been told by every manager I’ve ever previously had within this company that I’m one of the “best workers they have ever had” but also for it to all to be so personal and really still without proper reasoning for my dismissal.

Others and myself have come to realize the whole situation may have had to do with me being trans, with it all just being an excuse to get rid of me which is something I’ve yet to deal with in a work place scenario. Perhaps why I didn’t even consider it at first.

This was a situation in which this middle-aged gentlemen used to treat me entirely different before he found out about me. He had actually worked below me at the time before his advancement and was no stranger to the occasional comment or more straightforward attempt to “hit on me.” After he was told, even though my interactions with him had changed, I never thought he would let it affect our professional relationship. Especially when I did so much for him after he took over.

At this point, it’s all neither here nor there I suppose…

I really only planned to make this a very quick entry stating that I was still around and hoping to become more active again.

I think I’m going to mix it up and just start to post whenever the time strikes me and feels right. Not to say that I ever forced anything in the past. I may revert back to a more solid schedule in the future. For now, however, I think this is the best plan until my life becomes a touch more stable again.

I know I have at least four or so drafts to edit and hopefully post in the near future I had previously already written, but I may just end up scrapping them at this point…

We’ll see!

Writing anew would probably be for the best right now in my current state anyway!

I’m sure I’ll push through like I always do!

Hope you all are doing well!

(I feel like I’m already going to regret this absolute drivel…at least I posted again at all.)

“Birds…”by nightshiftboy is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Trans-Topic Thursdays! Being Transgendered in No Way Defines Me.

One of the primary reasons I only choose to write about trans-related topics once a week typically is to attempt to portray this concept as best I can. I really only post transgender topics in the first place to help and/or educate others finally being at a place in my life where I feel am able to give back to the community. I never do it with any intention of boasting or to convey that it is miraculous to be trans or anything along these lines.

I try to write about all different kinds of topics and interests of mine to further enforce this point, also while hoping to potentially attract new readers without being “judged” first by any means for being transgendered. I feel that I have plenty to share with others that has absolutely nothing to do with being trans.

This is why in my personal life I rarely choose to disclose my “transgender status” with others before I feel they learn to know me simply as a person beforehand. I seldom approach it any other way nowadays with some exceptions.

At my core I am exactly the same person I have always been my entire life!

Just a much happier person who is more willing to express and share certain aspects of myself that I wasn’t able to do beforehand for a number of reasons.

I have primarily the same interests I’ve always had, the same views and philosophies on life with just simply, if anything, gaining more new hobbies and interests than ever before!

Don’t get me wrong, it may still on occasion upset or bother me on a personal level in some aspects but who doesn’t experience feelings like this about themselves every once in a while regardless of who or what you may be.

I feel some who may not be all that familiar with transgendered individuals can sometimes have this view that we are trying to “shove it down your throat” on occasion. As if we somehow feel we instantly deserve your respect or acceptance. I would never expect this from anyone else no matter what and never would expect the same in return. (I plan to write a topic based solely on my views pertaining to respect in general for those who may be interested in the future.)

I’ve stated previously in my topic about how, “being trans is in no way a choice” that we are simply just normal average people just trying to live our lives like anyone else. We have hopes, dreams, things we need and want. We are just like anyone else who just wants to be happy so they can be their best self.

Some trans people who choose to transition in the beginning might not initially or ever be up to the standards of what some may deem “worthy of being female” but this does not change the fact that they always have been and always will!

A good majority, if not all, are not seeking the “extra attention” they may often receive or trying to harm/offend anyone, I assure you!

Each and everyone of us, trans or not, is just trying to do whatever they can to be comfortable with themselves and be happy!

We all deserve this no matter who you are and/or your background!

Thank you so much for Reading!

Till next time!

“alone & thinking credit to https://1dayreview.com”by 1DayReview is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Random Song Wednesday! Lily Allen: The Fear

Lily Allen is by no means completely under the radar! The song I chose for this post was once number one in the charts in the UK and in the top ten in the US when it was initially released a little over ten years ago.

However, I feel she will always stand alone in many ways for me as a female performer! She has her own style both in life and expressed within her music. I will always have extreme respect for her in more ways than one!

Not only did she become successful by releasing her music herself on YouTube to be “discovered” but also because every single one of her songs are so unique in presentation with what they lyrically consist of and convey, all while always being brutally real and honest!

One of my favorite songs by her will always be one entitled “Knock ‘Em Out” which I totally recommend for any females viewing this post! I don’t think any song both accurately and hilariously portrays the interactions with some men that women can experience.

The song I picked for this post was the first I ever heard from her. “The Fear” is a satirical creation both with the song itself and the video as well. It mainly pertains to how most modern female artists, really people in general for that matter, are often concerned with all the wrong things and very materialistically driven?

Really just the overall experience of consumerism and values that most of “western society” have come to accept as the norm. Which in many ways is extremely impressive and almost a premonition of sorts considering this song was released over ten years ago as stated above. With these ideals and views only becoming more and more commonplace and acceptable as time goes on.

I highly recommend you check out her other work if you enjoy this song because this alone doesn’t nearly begin to show her full range musically and personally!

Lily Allen: The Fear

I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don’t care about clever, I don’t care about funny
I want loads of clothes and “truckloads” of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them

And I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
‘Cause everyone knows that’s how you get famous
I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror
I’m on the right track, yeah, I’m on to a winner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear
‘Cause I’m being taken over by the fear

Life’s about film stars and less about mothers
It’s all about fast cars and cussing each other
But it doesn’t matter ’cause I’m packing plastic
And that’s what makes my life so “freaking” fantastic

And I am a weapon of massive consumption
And it’s not my fault, it’s how I’m programmed to function
I’ll look at the sun and I’ll look in the mirror
I’m on the right track, yeah, I’m on to a winner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear
‘Cause I’m being taken over by the fear

Forget about guns and forget ammunition
‘Cause I’m killing them all on my own little mission
Now I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner
Now everything is cool as long as I’m getting thinner

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear
‘Cause I’m being taken over by the fear

(Some minor alterations to keep the lyrics “PG” in text form, ha ha!)

I hope you enjoyed it!

Don’t forget to look forward to more random songs from my very eclectic musical tastes, ha ha!

“Death by consumerism”by onepointzero is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Where Does Your Satisfaction Come From? What Does this Word Mean to You?

I honestly had no intentions of making this post by any means up until a few hours ago. I currently keep a notebook where I list my various topic ideas for the future and I suppose this will somewhat include some of those concepts as well as others I’ve mentioned in the past. A great deal was honestly inspired reading posts from a fellow blogger which made me realize that I had been thinking about this more so than I had even fully acknowledged recently.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am truly so in love with the world of blogging in terms of being able to share ideas and thoughts with others. Blogging is more a personal autobiographical diary for me above all else really. If anyone appreciates or takes anything from it, that is all really just a plus to me.

Stay on topic, Cailin!

This all really goes hand in hand with what has even had all this on my mind recently though. Anyone who may have read my introductory post would have seen that I came across WordPress completely by accident while filling out a job application. I created one myself primarily at first just to get a feel for the site if I did manage to get the position I applied for. (I did not if you’re curious.)

Blogging and writing has always been appealing to me and something I was interested in trying but never pursued for whatever reason.

(I feel like I’m making this more about blogging which was not my intention…)

My overall point in all this rambling I suppose is that I’m a big believer in that everything happens for a reason for the most part. I’ve also found that this is a great outlet for me to occasionally organize the endless flow of thoughts that constantly occur within my head.

Jumping back to me pursuing other means of employment recently is what primarily put the current topic of discussion back into my mind. One I have always often come back to over the years for a number of reasons.

What I do for a job/career has honestly never been that important to me. I honestly have a ton of respect for anyone who truly knows what they want for themselves in this regard in many ways! When I was younger I always just wanted to help people until I realized that this could never be achieved for me in the way I wanted it to be. (I’ve mentioned this more in depth in previous posts so I won’t continue to ramble any further on unrelated things.)

My primary reason for bringing this up is with my current change in circumstances over the past few months I feel like once again I find myself bombarded by others who feel I don’t apply myself and/or waste my potential. I was completely content and happy with my old profession as well as past and future endeavors. As stated above this has never been important to me.

In all honestly, what anyone does for a living isn’t really of any interest to me for the most part. I care far more about who you are as a person and in life than your status or how much money you may make. You could make a million dollars a year and I could care less if you aren’t a good person. Granted some are able to combine helping others and/or including their passions within their professions but for most, sadly, this is not a realistic luxury. I feel this applies more nowadays than ever before.

I have never been a materialistic person in any sense whether it be what I wear, drive, own, or where I live. None of this has ever meant anything to me, nor does it matter to me in terms of anyone else’s life. If I ever do find myself overly wealthy for some reason I would probably still drive a “beater” vehicle and live in a smaller home with rather “bohemian” decor, ha ha!

I’ve never understood anyone who desires status and/or wealth feeling that this will somehow make them happy or have this need to prove anything to anyone else.

As long as I am surrounded by good people that I love, being a good person, helping others whenever I can expecting nothing in return, all while truly believing I am doing my best than what more could I ask for?

I really meant the entire theme of this post involving “satisfaction” in the generalist terms I possibly could!

I mean it also in the ways I just stated above including never expecting anything from anyone when I’m nice to them or help them. I feel like many do this for the sense of satisfaction or achievement which I will never understand as well.

I feel others even with some things can almost force a sense of satisfaction out of wanting to prove something and/or other exceptions of society in a completely different way. For example, the way that some may be obsessed with taking photos of themselves, others, places, or experiences just to prove they have/did them? (If that makes any sense at all…) I feel this reigns true more now than ever with “social media” being so important to many.

As also just mentioned above, I truly feel I have always lived and tried my absolute hardest in all aspects of life regardless of what anyone else may think about me. If I was to die tomorrow for whatever reason I would do so knowing that I was content and happy with myself all around until this point. I’ve had a great life so far honestly with many different types of experiences and people with hopefully much more still to come that I can’t even imagine.

I feel that many seem to limit their own personal satisfaction by things that other people or society put in place for them. They think they need an established career, to get married, purchase a house, have children, etc. and while all these things are well and good allowing many to feel a sense of satisfaction. You should by no means feel this is the only path to take or the only things that matter.

(I’d like to point out I have previously accomplished all of the aforementioned in the past for the record! None of this when all was said and done made me particularly happy for a number of reasons, with the only exception being my children.)

I guess I should wrap up this rambling once again with my initial question in the title of this post!

Where does your satisfaction come from?

What does this word even really mean?

I honestly couldn’t be more intrigued to potentially hear others thoughts on this subject!

As stated above, however, this is more just me needing to work out the thoughts in my own mind. About how others have recently made me reflect and think about my own actions and achievements. I know I can honestly say without a doubt that I am happy and down right proud of myself and how I’ve lived my life so far.

I don’t care what anyone else thinks about it and I never will!

Neither should you!

Whatever makes you happy and leaves you feeling satisfied with your life than keep doing it!

What else is life about?

Thank you so much for Reading!

(Jeez…I had a feeling that was going to be a long one no matter how hard I tried but come on girl…I really am the ramble on queen whether in real life or in writing even when I try my best, ha ha!)

“Lake Como, Belmar”by Khaz is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Trans-Topic Thursdays! The Importance of Always Being Yourself! (By No Means Strictly a Trans Related Post!)

One thing I can not stand almost more than anything else is fake people! Something about this type of person, at least for me personally, is always so easy to pick up on and identify right off the bat. I couldn’t pin point exactly what it is about them that makes it so obvious per se. I feel it primarily has to just be mainly you can tend to tell when a person is trying to hard I suppose? I would imagine this has to become quite exhausting on occasion.

I’ve made it a habit since I was very young to only surround myself with genuine people whenever I was able to make the choice on who I spent my time with. I can’t think of many close friends I’ve ever had in my life that didn’t fit this qualification.

I understand fully that in some circumstances in can sometimes be necessary to put up some type of front or “wear a mask” as they say. Depending on the type of work environment you may find yourself in for example. I know I have personally worked many jobs that required a healthy amount of customer service. This sure does not mean that I keep up this level of presentation with my coworkers or even all customers however. I know a good majority of us can often hold back when first meeting someone whether it be a new potential friend or family member. This is completely normal as well! I’m talking mainly in the sense of once these relationships have been established for a reasonable amount of time.

I know for myself that any ability I ever had to hide anything of myself from anyone has all but completely faded since I started hormones and began transitioning.

(See, we are getting into why this is more of a trans-topic post now!)

I’m not entirely sure if this is more based on the mental changes I have undergone, just being tired of holding back my full “true self” for so long, or the latter.

I can say from my own experience and interactions with other transgender individuals that you will rarely encounter one of us that isn’t completely a genuine person! This applies more so once you get farther into your transition I feel for the most part but this is by no means always the case!

A piece of advice I’d like to give to those who may be just beginning to transition (or really anyone for that matter) is letting yourself fully find out who you are. I mean this more in the sense as to never feel the need to limit yourself by expectations!

Never let anyone or anything make you feel that you have to be anything that you’re not!

What I mean by this mainly to give an example, I tended to feel like early on in my own transition that some expected me to like overly change somehow in the sense that I would be stereo-typically more “girly” or something along these lines.

Do not get me wrong!

I am plenty “girly” in a number of different ways, ha ha!

However, I would say I am far from being dominantly so!

I am beyond “tom-boyish” in plenty of ways as well!

Once again though, what is all this honestly based on in the first place except for certain expectations put in place by our society?

What exactly is it that make such things absolutely have to be more preferred or “normal” by one gender over the other?

Why can’t people just be people?

I suppose this can sound a bit odd from someone who felt so strongly about their gender identity that they felt the need to change certain aspects of herself to feel more comfortable but I would hope you understand my point here, ha ha!

Back to just talking more in a general sense!

I feel like a common area this can apply for anyone is often being embarrassed or ashamed of your interests.

Whether they may be considered nerdy/geeky (whatever the heck this even means once again!) or anything in general for whatever reason a friend/family member of yours doesn’t approve of.

First and foremost!

Learn to stop caring at all what people think about you in any sense of the word!

I realize that this can be much easier said than done depending on the situation but does it really need to be?

Own whatever it is that you enjoy and makes you yourself!

And love yourself for it!

We are all incredibly unique people and this is what makes us all fantastically amazing!

No one else in this world no matter what will ever be exactly who you are!

Remember this!

Not only have I personally embraced my gender identity over the past five or so years but this process has also made me learn to be myself completely and fully! (Whether I want to be or not for the most part as stated above, ha ha!) I have all but ceased trying to hide my “weird” and often “crazy” self from anyone no matter who you are! Random stranger on street, my friends, my family, anyone!

I know I already stated this above but once again learn to love yourself for what makes you special!

I can almost guarantee that if you own whatever makes you uniquely yourself that you will become a ton happier than you have ever been in your life!

(As I often like to include in various posts! Always keeping in mind as long as this never involves harming anyone or causing anyone any kind of pain! If you do feel like this then please do yourself a favor and seek some type of help, ha ha!)

If you don’t love yourself for whatever reason right now, take comfort in the fact that even though I might not know you, I love you!

I mean this sincerely!

I tend to be cursed with this ability to always see the good in people and find something I like about you even with the aforementioned “faker” types. I’m sure you have your reasons for acting the way you do!

Thank you so much for Reading!

“Morning Hike”by SewPixie is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Random Song Wednesday! Hatsune Miku: Rolling Girl

To be completely honest this was fairly far down on my list initially of songs I planned to introduce in this new up and coming series.

I suppose it does further prove my point of entailing just how vast my musical tastes truly are, ha ha!

I guess it also may come as no surprise to some considering I have made a fair amount of anime/otaku related posts so far and claim for it to be one of my primary topics of discussion.

I do, however, only slightly dabble in the ways of the various Asian inspired music that exists whether that be K-Pop/Rock or Vocaloid productions.

For those of you who may not be aware of the world of Vocaloids, they are artificial personalities and performers who can on occasion even be projected as holograms during concerts and the like.

The voices themselves are usually completely unique and fabricated using a combination of methods. While, I am not typically a fan of modified voices usually, I feel that in this situation it’s interesting and fun to see what they can do vocally in some songs things that could not be achieved with “normal human” capabilities.

Many different Vocaloids have come into existence at this point but one of the first and more well know is Hatsune Miku! You can find her adorable persona all over the web, on various merchandise, marketing purposes, etc.

I truly do find this world fascinating for a number of reasons. One of her songs even include a description of the complexity that can exist in this very concept.

The song included in this post will always remain one of my favorites! Not only for being one of the first I was introduced to but because it really is just all around an incredible song both musically and lyrically.

“Rolling Girl,” as the title slightly hints at, is a song about a girl who has had an extremely rough life so far and has become accustomed to “rolling with the punches” as they say.

It is extremely deep and something I feel most of us can relate to in some way. The video itself I feel is very powerful and almost perfectly encapsulates the heart and feeling behind the piece.

(I have linked the Japanese version of the song with English subtitles included but versions of the song/video exist as well if you may find yourself interested. I always feel it is better first to hear any media in it’s original language first personally.)

Without further ado, I present to you…

Hatsune Miku: Rolling Girl

Rolling Girl always looked at unreachable dreams
Making a fuss if you got inside her head and disturbed, disturbed.

“No problem.” Was murmured, but weren’t those words lost?
Fail again, fail again.
After ending your search for mistakes, it spins again!

Once more, once more.
“I’ll also roll today,”
That girl says, that girl says,
Playing her words with meaning

“Are you better now?”
“It’s still a ways off, I still don’t see the point. I’m gonna stop my breathing, now.”

Rolling Girl is at the end of the ruins, beyond unreachable colors
Overlapping voices with voices and blending, blending.

“No problem.” Was murmured, but those words were lost.
How are you going to turn out good?
Even the hill tempting me is making mistakes now.

Once more, once more.
Somehow I’m rolling.
That girl said, That girl said
Repeating silent words with meaning

“Are you better now?”
“Just a bit more, and you’ll see something soon. I’m gonna stop my breathing, now.”

Once more, once more.
“I’ll also roll today,”
That girl says, that girl says,
Playing her words with a smile

“Are you better now? It’s okay now. Let’s go, you must be tired as well, right?”
I wanna stop my breathing, now.

I hope you enjoyed it!

“hatsune miku”by 夜の猫さま is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

I’ve Never Felt Age was as Relevant as Some Often Make it Seem.

I’d like to first start by saying do not get me wrong at all to think I don’t feel that age can in some circumstances hold some level of relevance. I do feel, however, that more often that not it is rarely all that relative at all.

I feel shortly after most of us finish our varying levels of education/enter the workforce that people typically have a general sense of who they are and how they view the world. Not to say that some are not open and capable of changing in major ways but this in itself tends to be a bit of a rarity in my opinion.

I remember coming to this realization fairly soon in my early twenties. When you are still in school in your teens many still seem to have this view that “adults” are so much different than themselves at the time. (My sister being a very funny example of this still seeming to feel this way even now being 30.)

When I first became employed at a company full time regularly beginning to interact with others of all ages I came to the conclusion that by this point in most people lives that age really doesn’t mean anything. Everyone for the most part is primarily the same when it comes to what they may want, need, or desire. They have hopes, dreams, struggles, opinions, etc.

I remember I used to hardly be able to stand when anyone would jump to any type of conclusions about me as a person based solely on age. I have never considered myself to be typical in this sense often referring to the old expression of being an “old soul.” I have always thought and reflected on things that sometimes those much older than me at the time probably still have never gave a second thought in their lives.

I try my absolute best to remember to keep this mindset whenever I tend to interact with others who are younger than myself. I currently work with a young man who was only 19 when I initially met him. I have had more mature and thought provoking conversations with this person even more so than I have with people double or even triple his age. I often have even on some occasions forgotten how young he is sometimes because he in no way reflects any type of stereotypical “youth mentalities.”

Once again, this is all not to say that age does not in fact sometimes have relevance in some circumstances. Situations such as building a life for yourself including various achievements you hoped to obtain and being able to support yourself are primarily things that some can only learn with time. This concept itself is in no way a universal truth for all though as well by any means. You could be born into wealth or become famous at a young age for example.

This leads right into my next point being that a person’s age in no way reflects experiences they may have had that others can never relate to. This could range from simple things to ones that are very extreme. They could have lost a parent or friend at a young age, struggled with different types of abuse, come from a completely different national origin than you, the list is literally endless but I think you get my point.

You really can never know what goes on in someone’s head or what they may have dealt with simply just going by age or appearances.

This is just a simple thought I’ve always had in my life since I was very young and have often discussed with others. It is in no way intended to be taken all that seriously. I feel it is simply an interesting concept that can vary greatly in the opinions others may share.

I mean even think about in the distant past how short lifespans were and how different things could be as far as when people would achieve various “life milestones.” Age is as relevant as time itself. It honestly is all more just a matter of perception and how you choose to view things.

So, next time you may make a snap judgement about a person whether they be younger or older than you, maybe just take a second to really think about that before you do!

Thank you so much for Reading!

“DSC06567”by Poisoned_Pics_Photography is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

“Ageing”by paulbence is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0

Trans-Topic Thursdays! Being Transgendered is in NO WAY a Choice!

Had a hard time finding a picture I liked for this topic, then I saw this berry and it just seemed almost perfect for what I wanted to express!

I often read or even come across others in my own life that still seem to think that being transgendered is somehow a choice…?

Trust me when I say, it is in no way a choice!

Sure, if you think someone would choose to be something that affects almost every aspect of their life!

More often than not since you were a small child!

That constantly makes you feel uncomfortable and anxious!

Leaving you struggling searching to find something that makes you feel even a little better!

Maybe, you find transitioning (or not transitioning) could be the only hope you have to find some type of relief from what you’ve always dealt with!

Yet, also this means being persecuted by a large amount of the population just for trying to be yourself!

When half the time you hate yourself plenty all on your own!

Then, who wouldn’t want to sign up for this as their life, right?!?!

Please, trust me when I say that being transgendered is in No Way a Choice!

It may sound extreme but for many of us it truly is a choice between life and death. We would rather not live anymore, or finally try to live our lives as who we have always truly been and hope for the best!

Let me stress a point here!

We are nothing but normal everyday people just trying to live our lives for the most part. We truly mean you no harm! I don’t understand the viewpoint that exists at all some seem to have that we are in anyway deviants of any kind?

Let’s stay on topic though for now, shall we?

Honestly, for any of you who may have ever taken a look at my “behemoth” of a post about “coming out” would know how much I tried to suppress being trans until it completely consumed me. For as large as that post may be, it only details very small parts of what I dealt with throughout my life.

I remember being in kindergarten and my class having a “Hawaiian Day” or something along those lines at school. I wore like a fake grass skirt home we had all made in class just because I liked it. This was innocent, I didn’t think anything of it really? When I got off the bus I remember my friend’s father calling me a “faggot” and telling me to take it off. This must have hurt me enough at the time to still make me remember it to this day.

Watching home videos and stuff now with my family, they often joke with me sometimes about how you can tell I was way more interested in my sister’s toys. I know at least one of them involved a ring from a “Pretty, Pretty Princess” game. (I’m far from a “princess” for the record, ha ha!)

Often when I was younger people would often mistake me for a girl. This would make me as equally happy as it would make me upset.

Then, you hit your teens and forget about it!

You are freaking out about everything!

It’s all just wrong and it kills you!

This can often lead to you experiencing depression for most of your teens, often following you into adult hood. You can try to find various ways to deny these feelings. Shut yourself down emotionally, alcohol, drugs, hobbies, various other distractions and vices but…

IT NEVER GOES AWAY!

And it never will go away!

No matter how you end up dealing with being transgender this is something you just end up needing to accept eventually or you will probably be miserable your entire life.

For many this path leads to transitioning like myself but others find plenty of other ways in some cases that allow them to find peace with themselves.

To each their own!

I’ve said before, gender is a spectrum and you can take all the time you need to find where your place on it lies!

That seems like as good a closing line as any!

Learn to love yourselves everyone!

No matter who are you!

Thank you so much for Reading!

“IMG_1408”by CoryDeanSmith.com is licensed under CC BY 2.0

“Not caring what other people think is the best choice you will ever make.”by deeplifequotes is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Media Mondays! MMORPGs! They have Saved my Life more than Once!

Never actually played this game but it looks awesome!

I know the title of this post may sound slightly extreme but in a lot of ways it’s honestly not that far off from the truth.

For those of you who may not be all that into the world of gaming, MMORPG stands for Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game and is exactly as it sounds!

Games that you can play with many others online (across the entire world usually nowadays) which can vary in setting and game-play but typically are more fantasy based but not limited to this particular genre.

They mostly involve designing a character, picking a class, leveling up, taking quests, events, and plenty of other activities revolved around this basic concept primarily.

With all types of games and genres there will typically always be a sense of community in which you can share your interest with others who enjoy it as well!

In MMORPGs, however, community is almost the most important aspect that can make or break a particular game!

Meeting other players in game, helping each other complete the aforementioned quests, partying up, and maybe even forming or joining a guild (a group of many players) stands at the forefront as one of the most defining features of the genre!

These types of games can involve some type of story line (if any at all) but even when they do, more often than not, it’s usually not even worth paying attention to or you slowly begin to lose interest in it over time. I can only think of a very slim number of games in which this was an exception at least for me personally.

While, the graphics, classes, abilities, combat styles, etc. all influence whether I will usually even try a new potential game, what always make me stay is the friends I make in the process!

YES, FRIENDS!

I know this might sound like a crazy concept to call people you meet online actual friends, whether it be in a game or not, but I feel like especially in this day and age how can this not be the case?

Some friends I’ve made from games I’ve played over the years that I have long since stopped playing I still regularly communicate with through various means and have made life lasting bonds in some cases! I mean you talk to, interact with, have fun with doing various activities while playing the game itself or just being social.

What makes this any different than what you would do with friends “in real life?”

I’ve had real conversations and experiences with people that have helped me get through some of the hardest times of my life, as well as me doing the same for them!

This above all else, as stated above, is the main reason I have always continued to play at least one of these types of games almost my entire life since my early teens!

I feel even more so for myself that this was such a great experience for me was because I was transgendered. It was always a place that I could fully be myself and that was always an amazing escape from my “regular life.” It honestly even helped me once I started to transition because it helped me “readjust” to myself socially in a sense?

Granted, this is not at all something that needs to be limited to my specific circumstances! I feel it can be just as beneficial for others who may not have many friends or feel like an outcast for example, to be able to gain an opportunity to make real connections with others.

I know plenty may not feel these can qualify as “real connections” but I ask once again, why is this any different than any other type of relationship?

In a sense, how many other activities can allow you to interact with so many different types of people from all across the globe simultaneously?

It truly is nothing short of amazing to me in so many ways!

As I often tend to do with my posts, I bring this particular interest of mine to attention not just strictly to express my love for it, but also to potentially open up the idea for someone else to try it if they may have never done so before!

Gaming in general has made many strides in all levels of society over the years and I’m so happy that it has because it’s an amazing unique hobby to have in my opinion!

Thank you so much for Reading!

Till next time!

“Black Desert Online Gets Ancient Kutum World Boss”by BagoGames is licensed under CC BY 2.0