Tag: identity

Trans-Topic Thursdays! The Importance of Always Being Yourself! (By No Means Strictly a Trans Related Post!)

One thing I can not stand almost more than anything else is fake people! Something about this type of person, at least for me personally, is always so easy to pick up on and identify right off the bat. I couldn’t pin point exactly what it is about them that makes it so obvious per se. I feel it primarily has to just be mainly you can tend to tell when a person is trying to hard I suppose? I would imagine this has to become quite exhausting on occasion.

I’ve made it a habit since I was very young to only surround myself with genuine people whenever I was able to make the choice on who I spent my time with. I can’t think of many close friends I’ve ever had in my life that didn’t fit this qualification.

I understand fully that in some circumstances in can sometimes be necessary to put up some type of front or “wear a mask” as they say. Depending on the type of work environment you may find yourself in for example. I know I have personally worked many jobs that required a healthy amount of customer service. This sure does not mean that I keep up this level of presentation with my coworkers or even all customers however. I know a good majority of us can often hold back when first meeting someone whether it be a new potential friend or family member. This is completely normal as well! I’m talking mainly in the sense of once these relationships have been established for a reasonable amount of time.

I know for myself that any ability I ever had to hide anything of myself from anyone has all but completely faded since I started hormones and began transitioning.

(See, we are getting into why this is more of a trans-topic post now!)

I’m not entirely sure if this is more based on the mental changes I have undergone, just being tired of holding back my full “true self” for so long, or the latter.

I can say from my own experience and interactions with other transgender individuals that you will rarely encounter one of us that isn’t completely a genuine person! This applies more so once you get farther into your transition I feel for the most part but this is by no means always the case!

A piece of advice I’d like to give to those who may be just beginning to transition (or really anyone for that matter) is letting yourself fully find out who you are. I mean this more in the sense as to never feel the need to limit yourself by expectations!

Never let anyone or anything make you feel that you have to be anything that you’re not!

What I mean by this mainly to give an example, I tended to feel like early on in my own transition that some expected me to like overly change somehow in the sense that I would be stereo-typically more “girly” or something along these lines.

Do not get me wrong!

I am plenty “girly” in a number of different ways, ha ha!

However, I would say I am far from being dominantly so!

I am beyond “tom-boyish” in plenty of ways as well!

Once again though, what is all this honestly based on in the first place except for certain expectations put in place by our society?

What exactly is it that make such things absolutely have to be more preferred or “normal” by one gender over the other?

Why can’t people just be people?

I suppose this can sound a bit odd from someone who felt so strongly about their gender identity that they felt the need to change certain aspects of herself to feel more comfortable but I would hope you understand my point here, ha ha!

Back to just talking more in a general sense!

I feel like a common area this can apply for anyone is often being embarrassed or ashamed of your interests.

Whether they may be considered nerdy/geeky (whatever the heck this even means once again!) or anything in general for whatever reason a friend/family member of yours doesn’t approve of.

First and foremost!

Learn to stop caring at all what people think about you in any sense of the word!

I realize that this can be much easier said than done depending on the situation but does it really need to be?

Own whatever it is that you enjoy and makes you yourself!

And love yourself for it!

We are all incredibly unique people and this is what makes us all fantastically amazing!

No one else in this world no matter what will ever be exactly who you are!

Remember this!

Not only have I personally embraced my gender identity over the past five or so years but this process has also made me learn to be myself completely and fully! (Whether I want to be or not for the most part as stated above, ha ha!) I have all but ceased trying to hide my “weird” and often “crazy” self from anyone no matter who you are! Random stranger on street, my friends, my family, anyone!

I know I already stated this above but once again learn to love yourself for what makes you special!

I can almost guarantee that if you own whatever makes you uniquely yourself that you will become a ton happier than you have ever been in your life!

(As I often like to include in various posts! Always keeping in mind as long as this never involves harming anyone or causing anyone any kind of pain! If you do feel like this then please do yourself a favor and seek some type of help, ha ha!)

If you don’t love yourself for whatever reason right now, take comfort in the fact that even though I might not know you, I love you!

I mean this sincerely!

I tend to be cursed with this ability to always see the good in people and find something I like about you even with the aforementioned “faker” types. I’m sure you have your reasons for acting the way you do!

Thank you so much for Reading!

“Morning Hike”by SewPixie is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

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Trans-Topic Thursdays! Sexual Orientation vs. Gender Identity!

Somehow, in this day and age, of endless resources and technology, for one reason or another, confusion on this subject still seems to exist for some portion of the population.

I felt especially with it being Pride Month that it was the perfect time for such a topic!

More often then not in the transgender community you will often hear people discuss how many (not all but some!) still seem to think a correlation between sexual orientation and gender identity are inherently linked somehow.

This should go without saying but this is not the case at all!

I personally feel (as I’m sure many trans-people do as well) that this topic will often arise when “coming out” and/or disclosing your transgender status to others. This primarily seems to be the case especially with people you previously knew before beginning to transition. One of the first few questions you will often receive typically include…

So, Does that mean you like guys or girls?

(Or something along these lines…)

Sure, I can understand how for many this is a simple logical followup question in such a scenario. However, it really shouldn’t be relative at all…

Someone’s gender identity has absolutely nothing to do with the vast amount of different sexual preferences that exist. Sexual attraction is a broad spectrum which so many seem to feel the need to put into such rigid categories.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to explain that the term “transgender” is an umbrella term to describe anyone who does not identify with traditional “gender binaries.” I, for example, am technically a “transsexual” meaning that I solely identify as being a woman and have sought medical care to assist me with this.

A transgender person can be straight, gay, lesbian, bi, asexual, etc…

Are Cis (non-transgender) individuals faced with the same kind of assumptions for their genders?

I mean, maybe in some cases but more often than not, this is not the case!

Maybe, it even should be more prevalent in a lot of ways!

A person’s gender whether they be Cis or Trans should have absolutely no reflection on their potential particular sexual orientation.

I know, for me personally (anyone who may have happened to already read my post that included my “Coming Out Story” has previously seen) that my own sexual orientation was something I have always struggled with almost my entire life!

I remember a very vivid situation sitting around with a few friends as a teenager telling them that I really thought I might be asexual because I simply never felt a strong attraction for either gender. I’ve come to realize and accept at this point in my life that this was most likely because I didn’t feel comfortable being with anyone as I used to be.

I still in a lot of ways struggle with this even to this day. I really don’t date or anything for the most part or ever really even think of “sexual things” most of the time.

(It’s actually an interesting perspective to be in a world surrounded by a society that is so obsessed with sex when you could really care less about it!)

Upon further self reflection I have since mainly settled on the fact that I simply just don’t typically find someone attractive unless I share a connection with them first. The term used to describe this, that has come to light in more recent years, is apparently called “Demi-Sexual.”

I’m not really the type that necessarily feels the need to put labels on things but this is the “group” I fit in with the most primarily.

I, also, in some ways, identify as being “Pan-Sexual” which essentially means you don’t limit your attractions solely based on various gender identities.

Like I said, I’m not one that really feels the need to put labels on everything but I certainly understand the need that many feel to do so!

In a lot of ways, I think a decent majority of people would be happier not allowing things to be so “set in stone” when it comes to the various levels of attraction and/or gender identity!

Both of these, as briefly mentioned previously in this post, are on a huge ever growing spectrum. I’m sure a ton of people would potentially be a lot happier or even more open if our society didn’t feel the need for things to be solely one way or another with various things.

I guess that seems like as a good a place as any to wrap up this particular topic.

I hope for some this may have been, in anyway, mildly educational or interesting!

Happy Pride Month Everyone!

Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you are wrong for simply being who you are!

(As long as nobody is getting hurt!)

(Unless maybe your into that and it’s consensual…)

Thank you so much for Reading!

Till, next time!

“Rainbow_flag_and_blue_skies”by Imágenes Gratis Online is licensed under CC BY 2.0