One of the primary reasons I only choose to write about trans-related topics once a week typically is to attempt to portray this concept as best I can. I really only post transgender topics in the first place to help and/or educate others finally being at a place in my life where I feel am able to give back to the community. I never do it with any intention of boasting or to convey that it is miraculous to be trans or anything along these lines.
I try to write about all different kinds of topics and interests of mine to further enforce this point, also while hoping to potentially attract new readers without being “judged” first by any means for being transgendered. I feel that I have plenty to share with others that has absolutely nothing to do with being trans.
This is why in my personal life I rarely choose to disclose my “transgender status” with others before I feel they learn to know me simply as a person beforehand. I seldom approach it any other way nowadays with some exceptions.
At my core I am exactly the same person I have always been my entire life!
Just a much happier person who is more willing to express and share certain aspects of myself that I wasn’t able to do beforehand for a number of reasons.
I have primarily the same interests I’ve always had, the same views and philosophies on life with just simply, if anything, gaining more new hobbies and interests than ever before!
Don’t get me wrong, it may still on occasion upset or bother me on a personal level in some aspects but who doesn’t experience feelings like this about themselves every once in a while regardless of who or what you may be.
I feel some who may not be all that familiar with transgendered individuals can sometimes have this view that we are trying to “shove it down your throat” on occasion. As if we somehow feel we instantly deserve your respect or acceptance. I would never expect this from anyone else no matter what and never would expect the same in return. (I plan to write a topic based solely on my views pertaining to respect in general for those who may be interested in the future.)
I’ve stated previously in my topic about how, “being trans is in no way a choice” that we are simply just normal average people just trying to live our lives like anyone else. We have hopes, dreams, things we need and want. We are just like anyone else who just wants to be happy so they can be their best self.
Some trans people who choose to transition in the beginning might not initially or ever be up to the standards of what some may deem “worthy of being female” but this does not change the fact that they always have been and always will!
A good majority, if not all, are not seeking the “extra attention” they may often receive or trying to harm/offend anyone, I assure you!
Each and everyone of us, trans or not, is just trying to do whatever they can to be comfortable with themselves and be happy!
We all deserve this no matter who you are and/or your background!
I honestly had no intentions of making this post by any means up until a few hours ago. I currently keep a notebook where I list my various topic ideas for the future and I suppose this will somewhat include some of those concepts as well as others I’ve mentioned in the past. A great deal was honestly inspired reading posts from a fellow blogger which made me realize that I had been thinking about this more so than I had even fully acknowledged recently.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am truly so in love with the world of blogging in terms of being able to share ideas and thoughts with others. Blogging is more a personal autobiographical diary for me above all else really. If anyone appreciates or takes anything from it, that is all really just a plus to me.
Stay on topic, Cailin!
This all really goes hand in hand with what has even had all this on my mind recently though. Anyone who may have read my introductory post would have seen that I came across WordPress completely by accident while filling out a job application. I created one myself primarily at first just to get a feel for the site if I did manage to get the position I applied for. (I did not if you’re curious.)
Blogging and writing has always been appealing to me and something I was interested in trying but never pursued for whatever reason.
(I feel like I’m making this more about blogging which was not my intention…)
My overall point in all this rambling I suppose is that I’m a big believer in that everything happens for a reason for the most part. I’ve also found that this is a great outlet for me to occasionally organize the endless flow of thoughts that constantly occur within my head.
Jumping back to me pursuing other means of employment recently is what primarily put the current topic of discussion back into my mind. One I have always often come back to over the years for a number of reasons.
What I do for a job/career has honestly never been that important to me. I honestly have a ton of respect for anyone who truly knows what they want for themselves in this regard in many ways! When I was younger I always just wanted to help people until I realized that this could never be achieved for me in the way I wanted it to be. (I’ve mentioned this more in depth in previous posts so I won’t continue to ramble any further on unrelated things.)
My primary reason for bringing this up is with my current change in circumstances over the past few months I feel like once again I find myself bombarded by others who feel I don’t apply myself and/or waste my potential. I was completely content and happy with my old profession as well as past and future endeavors. As stated above this has never been important to me.
In all honestly, what anyone does for a living isn’t really of any interest to me for the most part. I care far more about who you are as a person and in life than your status or how much money you may make. You could make a million dollars a year and I could care less if you aren’t a good person. Granted some are able to combine helping others and/or including their passions within their professions but for most, sadly, this is not a realistic luxury. I feel this applies more nowadays than ever before.
I have never been a materialistic person in any sense whether it be what I wear, drive, own, or where I live. None of this has ever meant anything to me, nor does it matter to me in terms of anyone else’s life. If I ever do find myself overly wealthy for some reason I would probably still drive a “beater” vehicle and live in a smaller home with rather “bohemian” decor, ha ha!
I’ve never understood anyone who desires status and/or wealth feeling that this will somehow make them happy or have this need to prove anything to anyone else.
As long as I am surrounded by good people that I love, being a good person, helping others whenever I can expecting nothing in return, all while truly believing I am doing my best than what more could I ask for?
I really meant the entire theme of this post involving “satisfaction” in the generalist terms I possibly could!
I mean it also in the ways I just stated above including never expecting anything from anyone when I’m nice to them or help them. I feel like many do this for the sense of satisfaction or achievement which I will never understand as well.
I feel others even with some things can almost force a sense of satisfaction out of wanting to prove something and/or other exceptions of society in a completely different way. For example, the way that some may be obsessed with taking photos of themselves, others, places, or experiences just to prove they have/did them? (If that makes any sense at all…) I feel this reigns true more now than ever with “social media” being so important to many.
As also just mentioned above, I truly feel I have always lived and tried my absolute hardest in all aspects of life regardless of what anyone else may think about me. If I was to die tomorrow for whatever reason I would do so knowing that I was content and happy with myself all around until this point. I’ve had a great life so far honestly with many different types of experiences and people with hopefully much more still to come that I can’t even imagine.
I feel that many seem to limit their own personal satisfaction by things that other people or society put in place for them. They think they need an established career, to get married, purchase a house, have children, etc. and while all these things are well and good allowing many to feel a sense of satisfaction. You should by no means feel this is the only path to take or the only things that matter.
(I’d like to point out I have previously accomplished all of the aforementioned in the past for the record! None of this when all was said and done made me particularly happy for a number of reasons, with the only exception being my children.)
I guess I should wrap up this rambling once again with my initial question in the title of this post!
Where does your satisfaction come from?
What does this word even really mean?
I honestly couldn’t be more intrigued to potentially hear others thoughts on this subject!
As stated above, however, this is more just me needing to work out the thoughts in my own mind. About how others have recently made me reflect and think about my own actions and achievements. I know I can honestly say without a doubt that I am happy and down right proud of myself and how I’ve lived my life so far.
I don’t care what anyone else thinks about it and I never will!
Neither should you!
Whatever makes you happy and leaves you feeling satisfied with your life than keep doing it!
What else is life about?
Thank you so much for Reading!
(Jeez…I had a feeling that was going to be a long one no matter how hard I tried but come on girl…I really am the ramble on queen whether in real life or in writing even when I try my best, ha ha!)
One thing I can not stand almost more than anything else is fake people! Something about this type of person, at least for me personally, is always so easy to pick up on and identify right off the bat. I couldn’t pin point exactly what it is about them that makes it so obvious per se. I feel it primarily has to just be mainly you can tend to tell when a person is trying to hard I suppose? I would imagine this has to become quite exhausting on occasion.
I’ve made it a habit since I was very young to only surround myself with genuine people whenever I was able to make the choice on who I spent my time with. I can’t think of many close friends I’ve ever had in my life that didn’t fit this qualification.
I understand fully that in some circumstances in can sometimes be necessary to put up some type of front or “wear a mask” as they say. Depending on the type of work environment you may find yourself in for example. I know I have personally worked many jobs that required a healthy amount of customer service. This sure does not mean that I keep up this level of presentation with my coworkers or even all customers however. I know a good majority of us can often hold back when first meeting someone whether it be a new potential friend or family member. This is completely normal as well! I’m talking mainly in the sense of once these relationships have been established for a reasonable amount of time.
I know for myself that any ability I ever had to hide anything of myself from anyone has all but completely faded since I started hormones and began transitioning.
(See, we are getting into why this is more of a trans-topic post now!)
I’m not entirely sure if this is more based on the mental changes I have undergone, just being tired of holding back my full “true self” for so long, or the latter.
I can say from my own experience and interactions with other transgender individuals that you will rarely encounter one of us that isn’t completely a genuine person! This applies more so once you get farther into your transition I feel for the most part but this is by no means always the case!
A piece of advice I’d like to give to those who may be just beginning to transition (or really anyone for that matter) is letting yourself fully find out who you are. I mean this more in the sense as to never feel the need to limit yourself by expectations!
Never let anyone or anything make you feel that you have to be anything that you’re not!
What I mean by this mainly to give an example, I tended to feel like early on in my own transition that some expected me to like overly change somehow in the sense that I would be stereo-typically more “girly” or something along these lines.
Do not get me wrong!
I am plenty “girly” in a number of different ways, ha ha!
However, I would say I am far from being dominantly so!
I am beyond “tom-boyish” in plenty of ways as well!
Once again though, what is all this honestly based on in the first place except for certain expectations put in place by our society?
What exactly is it that make such things absolutely have to be more preferred or “normal” by one gender over the other?
Why can’t people just be people?
I suppose this can sound a bit odd from someone who felt so strongly about their gender identity that they felt the need to change certain aspects of herself to feel more comfortable but I would hope you understand my point here, ha ha!
Back to just talking more in a general sense!
I feel like a common area this can apply for anyone is often being embarrassed or ashamed of your interests.
Whether they may be considered nerdy/geeky (whatever the heck this even means once again!) or anything in general for whatever reason a friend/family member of yours doesn’t approve of.
First and foremost!
Learn to stop caring at all what people think about you in any sense of the word!
I realize that this can be much easier said than done depending on the situation but does it really need to be?
Own whatever it is that you enjoy and makes you yourself!
And love yourself for it!
We are all incredibly unique people and this is what makes us all fantastically amazing!
No one else in this world no matter what will ever be exactly who you are!
Not only have I personally embraced my gender identity over the past five or so years but this process has also made me learn to be myself completely and fully! (Whether I want to be or not for the most part as stated above, ha ha!) I have all but ceased trying to hide my “weird” and often “crazy” self from anyone no matter who you are! Random stranger on street, my friends, my family, anyone!
I know I already stated this above but once again learn to love yourself for what makes you special!
I can almost guarantee that if you own whatever makes you uniquely yourself that you will become a ton happier than you have ever been in your life!
(As I often like to include in various posts! Always keeping in mind as long as this never involves harming anyone or causing anyone any kind of pain! If you do feel like this then please do yourself a favor and seek some type of help, ha ha!)
If you don’t love yourself for whatever reason right now, take comfort in the fact that even though I might not know you, I love you!
I mean this sincerely!
I tend to be cursed with this ability to always see the good in people and find something I like about you even with the aforementioned “faker” types. I’m sure you have your reasons for acting the way you do!
I know for most bloggers this would not be that monumental of a feat to say the least.
Nonetheless, I could not be more honored and taken aback!
I began blogging only roughly a little over two weeks ago?
Somehow, in this short amount of time I have managed to gain…
Words seriously can not even begin to express how much this means to me!
Any of you that have even once read, liked, commented, and/or took anything from a piece of my writing…
You are so amazing and I love you!
I truly could not be more sincere in this statement!
When I first began, I didn’t think anyone would even be remotely interested in anything I had to say.
(Or be able to look past my complete lack of writing ability…)
(Mentioned this from day one people! Ha ha!)
Let alone be able to accomplish something like this in such a short amount of time!
Like I said…
I know this is honestly nothing to some but it means the world to me!
It truly does!
I have already stated this previously in my post detailing how much I love blogging and the community. This just reinforces how much that love continues to grow and how, more than ever, I have absolutely no intentions on stopping anytime soon!
I’m probably beginning to become just a “touch” obsessed?
I’ve already started to keep a list of specific posts and topics I plan to cover in the future.
To say the least…?
This list is, slowly but surely, growing out of control!
I have not even gone out of my way to make it so, either.
Ideas just keep constantly flooding my brain to the point I probably already have enough to last me for months to come!
It might be about the time to upgrade to a more premium layout very soon?
We will see! Ha ha!
I’m sure no one will care about this post for the most part but I felt the need to write it regardless.
(I, most likely, won’t make another one until I hit like 500 or something…)
(Bold goal but you never know!)
Thank you all again so much for the support!
Stay on the look out for all my up-and-coming content!